Full Moon
by IdisRunis
Summary: Edward leaves Bella and she doesn't jump off the cliff so he doesn't come back. Instead Bella is with Jacob and seems happy enough. But the dreams are still there and Victoria as well. Will Edward stay away, and can Bella truly be happy with Jacob.
1. Waiting

**Waiting**

I was sitting on a chair in Charlie's kitchen waiting, impatiently.

It always had me worried, when he was out hunting. And now I had even more reason to be worried, he was out looking for her. Victoria. The name shot tremors down my spine. Victoria, the beautiful pale vampire with hair so red, that it looked like fire if you saw it from far away. She had come for me. She wanted me dead.

Edward had killed her mate James, and now Victoria wanted to kill me.

Last spring break James had started hunting me; he'd tricked me and gotten me to meet him. Just when he was about to finish me of Edward had come and saved my life, killing James. So now Victoria thought it fair to kill me. Mate for mate. Only she didn't know…

But I couldn´t think about that now, not when I was so consumed with worry. What if he didn't come back?

My fretting was silly really, as he'd told me a million times. He wouldn't get hurt; he was almost as close to indestructible as you get. But still, the slightest possibility of losing him, it was unbearable.

I looked at the clock hanging above the door in Charlie's little kitchen, 11 p.m. I had been sitting here for almost two hours now.

When I'd gotten home, I´d cooked dinner for Charlie and then done my homework very thoroughly, lying on the living room floor while Charlie watched a baseball game on the flat screen.

Then I'd gone upstairs to turn my ancient computer on, looking for anything to keep me occupied. There had been an e-mail from Renée, my childish mother, who now lived in Jacksonville with her new husband Phil.

I had answered it, commenting on everything she had had to say and written about what happened around here. About my friends, school and so on. When I'd done that I took a shower and put my pajamas on.

After that, I ran out of things to keep myself occupied. So I had nothing left to do but worry. I had sat down on a chair next to the kitchen table and started staring at the clock. It was moving at tauntingly low speed. At one point I even wondered if it was moving backwards.

But apparently not, because it now showed: 11.04 p.m.

Why isn't he back yet? I thought to myself. He said he would be back by ten, what if something happened? What if he wasn't coming back? In my mind I saw him fighting Victoria and losing. I started to panic. I could hear Charlie's muffled snores coming from upstairs but this did not soothe me and I had to put my head between my knees to keep from losing consciousness.

When I was sitting there- hyperventilating- I heard the sound I'd been waiting for. A door opened and closed very quietly. I looked up to see him standing there in the hallway. The relief I felt was beyond words. There was no light in the hall but with the glow from the kitchen lamp I could see him looking up the stairs in the general direction of my room.

"Bella?" his voice was low and cautious, probably trying not to wake Charlie up.

I flew up and threw myself into him. I put my arms around him and hugged him as hard as I could. He chuckled surprised and said.

"Miss me?" His voice was playful, as he hugged me tightly.

"Only a lot" I said and hugged him even harder. I could stand like this forever I thought to myself, right now nothing else mattered. Even though I was being chased by a revengeful

Vampire who's only goal was killing me, in this moment I felt utterly safe.

He pulled himself away a little and took my face in one of his hands, the other still wrapped around me, and looked into my eyes.

"I missed you too" he said serious, and then his lips came down on mine hard and without caution. My heart started racing and I swear it was trying to jump out of my chest.

I don't know how long we stood there, but eventually he broke the kiss and put his chin on my head. We stood there embracing in the middle of the hallway a while.

I was afraid to ask the question I really wanted to know. I stood there deliberating; when he said the words that both upset me and made me sigh in relief.

"We didn't get her" his voice was low and hard.

It hadn't come to a confrontation. He and his brothers were safe, but I wasn't. Victoria was still out there, hunting.

It was such a strange thing, on one end really wanting Victoria dead and on the other wanting to keep him as far away from her as possible.

"Good" I said.

He groaned in disapproval, we'd had this fight many times. "No Bella, not good. How many times do I have to tell you? She's no match for us. Next time we will get her."

I shivered at the thought of him fighting her. "I'm still worried. Every time you go to hunt her. What if you get separated from the others? What if she kills you? Then it's all my fault."

He hugged me closer. "Bella you shouldn't worry about anyone but yourself right now. You're who we're afraid of losing."

I put my ear against his chest and listened to his slow heartbeat. "Okay." I said and yawned. I still didn't like the idea of him out hunting her, but I suddenly felt very tired and didn't want to argue.

He noticed my weariness and said. "Look at you. You're dead on your feet, let's get you to bed."

"Having a revengeful vampire after you is kind of tiring." I answered in a low voice. I was starting to feel very sleepy. He chuckled, and then he walked with me up the stairs with one arm still around me. We went and lay down on the bed next to each other.

Suddenly something occurred to me, he had come later than he'd said he would.

"What happened?" I asked, more alert now, but not really sure if I wanted to know.

"We found a fresh trail and started to follow her. We had almost caught up with her when she took off into the water. We decided not to push are luck and try to follow her, incase she'd turn back and come here." He said in a serious tone.

I shivered at his words. He noticed and said. "It's alright Bella, I won't let her get to you. Victoria is no match for us. We will get her, and soon. Then this'll all be over." He voice was very determined.

I wasn't as sure about that outcome as he was, and his confidence didn't provide any comfort, but now that my question was answered I felt myself slipping towards unconsciousness again. I was so tired, and it was a school night.

He noticed and said, "You look really tired"

"Mhm..." I was already drifting.

"You look tired too." I noticed.

"I should really go home and try to get some sleep" he said.

I was half asleep already, but I forced my eyelids to open, looked at him and said.

"Thank you"

"For what?" he asked puzzled.

"For existing. If it weren't for you I'd be dead now, or at least in a zombielike state"

We both flinched when I said that last part. I know he could remember it too, all too clearly.

What I'd been like when Edward had left. Edward. I could even think his name now. It was not completely without pain of course, but I had accepted that it would never stop hurting. The fact that Jacob was here also helped, he was like morphine. Jacob worked like a painkiller for the constant ache in my chest.

It was almost eight months since Edward had left. The hole was there, hurting, but I felt now, that I could survive it. And now that I had Jacob, I had found something to live for. Actually live and not just stay alive.

I remember the last time I'd talked to Edward. It was just a few days after my ill-fated birthday party. I'd gotten a paper cut and Jasper, Edward's brother, had tried to kill me. A couple of days after that, Edward had stood in the woods behind Charlie's house and told me that he and his family were leaving and that he didn't want me to come, that he didn't love me anymore.

Even now the memory made the hole in my chest throb and ache. And even though Jacob was here, I had to wrap my arms around my torso to keep from breaking into pieces. I quickly moved on to a better memory, a happy one.

The first time I´d kissed Jacob, it was almost two months ago now. We were in my kitchen; it was the same day Harry Clearwater had died.

I remember that day, Jacob and I were supposed to go cliff-diving but they'd found a fresh trail from Victoria, so he had to go help the others.

So instead I'd spent my day on the cold beach down in La push, worrying about Jacob and his so called brothers, who really were a pack of teenage werewolves.

As it had turned out, the vampires weren't the only La push legends that were true. The stories of the wolf that turn into men were also true. And Jacob and his 'brothers' were exactly that. Sam, Jacob, Paul, Embry, Quil and Jared were all part of the pack. I'd spent so much time with them the last few months they that felt like family to me now.

That day Harry had died and Jacob had been close to getting Victoria. But they hadn't gotten her and he'd come back to drive me home.

When we'd come inside he'd leaned down to kiss me.

Then I had been completely undecided. Of course I'd loved him, he'd been my best friend for so long, the person I could talk to about anything, but I hadn't been in love with him.

When he'd kissed me all that had changed, I'd changed. And I'd realized that I was in love with him in a very real way. Never nearly as much as I'd loved and still loved Edward. But it didn't matter.

I like to think that even though he had left, and even though he didn't love me anymore, that Edward would want me to be happy. That it was okay for me to give what was left of me to Jacob and that I would love him as much as I could, even if it wasn't near the amount of love I was capable of.

And it had turned out really well; Jacob and I were truly happy, or as happy as I could ever be. And though both he and I knew that I would probably never stop loving Edward, it didn't matter, because we had each other. I knew him inside out and he knew me even better. Being with Jacob and his ´family' was so different from being with Edward, easier and more comfortable, like breathing. I could really be myself with him.

But I would never love him the way I loved Edward. Never that yearning, that need. To love someone almost to the point of pain, I knew I'd never have that with Jacob. But I did need him, probably more then he knew. He was the one that had come to my rescue, and picked up the pieces Edward had left behind. Jacob had put me back together again. But I wasn't fixed, I was still broken. Jacob had just glued the pieces together. If Jacob left I would probably fall apart again.

Jacob had lay silence during my reasoning. He was probably remembering himself.

But now he got up and stood by the bed facing me.

"I really should get home. Good night Bella"

"Alright, I´ll see you soon."

He bent down to kiss my forehead. I was surprised at how long he had to bend. Would he ever stop growing, he was a monster now. He turned to the window.

"Well good night then" I said and curled up on my side the way I usually slept.

"Bella" he said amused.

"What?" I said a little dazed. I was really tired now and I wanted to sleep.

"I love you" he said.

I smiled to myself and said, "Love you too Jake" then he opened my window and he was gone.

Not seconds later I fell asleep. But it was not the deep, dreamless sleep I was craving.


	2. Nightmare

**Nightmare**

At first, I didn't recognize where I was. But when I did, it was with horror.

I was walking in a forest. It was cold and wet. All around me everything was green; tree trunks, rocks, everything was covered in moss. The treetops filled the sky like a green roof and it felt very claustrophobic. I noticed that there was no light shining through the leaves, so it had to have been night and the forest was very dark.

I was just walking. Nothing else, walking and searching, compulsively, not sure what I was looking for.

Suddenly I knew where I was. I was very conscious of the fact that I was dreaming but I couldn't make myself wake up. I knew that it was coming; the point when I would realize that there was nothing to look for. Nothing left.

I hadn't had this nightmare in almost two months and I had foolishly let myself believe that maybe it was gone forever. But now I found myself wandering in the woods, searching until it came, the point when I realized there was nothing to look for, nothing left that mattered. It was usually at this point that the panic started.

I woke up, screaming at the top of my lungs. There were tears running down my cheeks. I wanted to kick myself for my little trip down memory lane last night, which was surely the cause for the nightmare. Even if I was better now, I still couldn´t think about _him _too much.

I looked at the clock on my nightstand: 6 a.m. Good, I thought to myself, it wasn´t too early to get up. I definitely didn't want to go back to sleep, so even though I was exhausted I dragged myself out of bed.

I looked out the window and saw that Charlie's cruiser was already gone. Off to work. He'd been working a lot lately, with all the deaths that Victoria had caused.

I shivered at the thought of the lives lost at my expense. I tried to take comfort in the fact that Victoria would have"eaten" wherever she was, but still I felt very guilty. And I was scared stiff by the fact that Victoria was here, in Washington.

I knew that at least one of the wolves was out in the forest near my house protecting me, but that gave me less then no comfort. And it was definitely not good to think of Victoria when I was all alone in the house.

I took a shower to try and calm myself and then I put on some clean clothes. I could really use Jacob, not only was I frightened because of Victoria but also, the nightmare had made the hole in my chest so much worse and I needed my morphine fix.

I went downstairs and poured myself a bowl of cereal and sat down eating slowly trying not to think about either Victoria or Edward.

It worked quite effectively, I thought about Jacob and those first few weeks of our ´relationship'. In the beginning after our first kiss it had been a bit awkward. I didn't really know how to act around him, but I'd found it to actually be very easy. Just like it was easy to be his best friend it was also easy to be his girlfriend.

The first week there had been a lot of teasing from the wolf pack, they'd found it very funny that I'd gone from dating a vampire to dating a werewolf and many jokes like," a vampire for an ex-boyfriend and a boyfriend who's a werewolf. Wow, Bella wonder what Charlie would say" was not unusual.

But when Jacob and I had been together a while they didn't find it to be funny anymore, since we really didn't care what they thought. Or at least I didn't. Jacob had gotten quite mad in the beginning because he knew what talking about Edward did to me and big fights had broken out. Jacob had once gotten mad at Paul and they'd fought, then he hadn't talk to him for almost two weeks. This made me feel very guilty, I didn't want to cause fighting so I'd convinced Jacob that I really didn't care and that he should apologize to Paul. Jacob hadn't liked it but done it anyway. And after that things had gradually gone back to normal. Now everything was well. Jacob and I had been together so long that when we'd kiss or something like that, there were no longer any reactions from the pack.

And after the shock of me dating a person that was two years younger than me, had passed in school no one was longer surprised to see Jacob follow me to school. In the beginning though it had been very different.

First of all there was the matter of the four months after Edward, flinch, had left. I'd been in a very zombielike state and not everybody had forgiven me for it. But with Mike and Angela and her new boyfriend Ben it was like nothing had happened. Jessica had been a little difficult but eventually she'd forgiven me too.

Then I'd started dating Jacob and of course Mike hadn't been happy, obviously, Angela was just happy for me, and Ben agreed with Angela on just about anything.

I smiled to myself when I thought about how much Ben adored Angela. I was so happy for her. Jessica was thrilled about me and Jake and wanted all the details.

Even though Mike had been pissed that I hadn't chosen him he got over it quite fast and now he was actually friends with Jacob, as were Angela and Ben. The others, Tyler, Lauren and Eric etc. had never really accepted Jacob who sometimes came to visit me at school. But I really didn't care because I had all I needed, even if it wasn't what I'd wanted, the future that I'd picked but never gotten and ouch, the thought made my chest ache, the future I'd never gotten.

Where is Jacob, I thought to myself before I continued my previous line of thought to try to distract myself.

Everyone had gotten used to seeing me and Jacob together and my life was good, even if it wasn't the life I'd wanted.

Now I couldn't keep it together longer. I crumbled on the kitchen floor, wrapped my arms around myself and let my misery have at me. It hurt so much.

Jacob found me like that a couple of minutes later. He picked me up into his arms and went to sit on the sofa in the living room. He sat me down next to him with his arms wrapped around me. I turned my head and buried my face in his chest.

We sat like that for a long time, he didn't say anything and neither did I.

I started to feel better as soon as I saw him and now I was feeling a lot better. I pulled my face up to look at his, he was staring straight forward with a hard expression, this was Sam's expression, and I knew that he knew the cause of my breakdown.

" Sorry" I said in a small voice. My throat was thick from crying.

He looked down at me with a surprised and puzzled expression.

"For what?"

I looked down at myself.

"It´s not _your_ fault Bella." It was very clear in his voice that he did blame someone. And I thought I knew where he was going with this.

"I mean you can´t help that that filthy, stupid bloodsucking piece of shit left you. It not your fault that you have to wrap your arms around yourself just to keep it together. I swear if I ever see that…. that scum again I'll….

"Please don't" I begged. I couldn't listen to this anymore and I couldn't stand to hear the agony in his voice. "Just… don't."

"Bella he hurt you, so bad. I can't just not care about that. Forgive him for that. I mean have you?" He looked meaningfully at me. I looked down. I knew he didn't want my answer to this question. He saw my guilty expression and his voice changed, he was somehow even angrier now.

"Have you? Forgiven him I mean."

"There really wasn't anything to forgive" I said.

His whole body was shaking now. I looked up to see his expression, his jaw was clenched and he was concentrating very hard to keep his voice even.

"What did you say?"

I sighed; I didn't want to have this conversation. It was too painful. But I felt compelled somehow to try and defend Edward.

"I mean, he didn't love me, he had every right to leave. I'm nothing special really. Just a poor weak human." The tears were building in my eyes.

Jacob took my face into his hands and lifted it so I was staring straight into his eyes. I tried to pull my face away but he held it securely in his warm hands. With his thumbs he stroked the tears away from my cheeks. Then he said in a slow, steady and serious voice free of anger.

"Isabella Swan, you are special. So much more special than any human on the planet. You're beautiful, strong, kind, loving and most of all very special. Just because _he_ couldn't see that doesn't make it untrue. Don't forget that I love you and to me you are the world."

That got me crying again. Here I was sitting in with a man who loved me and wanted to be with me and I was crying for my Romeo who couldn't care less about me. I dried my tears from my cheeks with my sleeve and looked up at him.

"I love you too Jake. To me you're more than the world." He gave me a big smile, my smile, and said, "Are you better?"

"Yes" I sighed, and smiled back at him. His smile was so infectious.

"Good."

We both sat quiet for a minute.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked. He woke up out of his little daydream and looked at me.

"I was actually thinking, why don't we, if the weather is better," He pointed to the window, it was raining buckets outside, it was a lot even for Forks. "Ride our motorcycles tonight?"

I lightened up, that idea sounded very good. I just didn't feel like sitting at home waiting for Victoria to come. I wouldn't let her scare me into not leaving my house.

Besides I really liked riding my motorcycle. Even though I'd given up on the Edward hallucinations, (I'd found out that they did me no good and I impossibly felt that I was somehow cheating on Jacob by not telling him about my delusions), I still liked the thrill of speed and the wind blowing in my hair.

"Okay" I said happier.

"It's a date." He said and gave me a quick wink.

The rain continued all through that day and night so Jacob and I stayed in and watched a movie instead. I wasn't completely pleased with that, I'd really wanted to ride the bikes.

This was why I was ecstatic when I came from my last class the next day and the rain had finally stopped. Mike, who had history with me last period, walked me back to my car. He saw my mood change and asked.

"The rain finally let up. Got any plans?" It was clear in his voice that he'd already guessed it from my optimistic expression.

"Yeah" I answered and looked impatiently towards the parking lot. There was Jacob, standing by my car, my favorite smile on his lips.

"Hey Mike" he said.

"Hi Jake." Mike answered in a friendly voice. "I hear you and Bella have plans. What are you doing?"

Jacob and I looked at each other. We couldn't really tell him, since Charlie didn't know that I was riding a motorbike. He would probably have an aneurysm if the fact was brought to his attention. Jacob was faster to come up with an answer.

"We're just going down to La Push to hang out with some of my friends."

"Okay. Oh, and Jake I was hoping to ask a favor from you."

"Sure. What do you need?"

"Well..." Mike deliberated. "I'll totally pay you and everything. It's just… My car kind of broke down yesterday and I know absolutely nothing about cars. I was wondering if you would take a look at it."

"Sure. Yeah. I could do that." Jacob said. "Do you want me to come over. Or…?"

"Really... you'd do that? Thank you so much. I just can't afford to take it to the auto shop. And walking to school is not my favorite thing."

"No worries man. I'll come by tomorrow and see if there's anything I can do."

"Well I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Mike!" Jessica called from across the parking lot. He turned to see her waving for him to come. He turned back to us.

"I should probably go. Goodbye and… thanks again" Mike said and walked away.

"Bye Mike" Jake and I said at the same time.

He smiled at me, I tried to reach up to him and give him a quick kiss. I didn't really work, I was too short. He laughed at me and said.

"Need a lift there, shorty"

"Yes." I laughed with him. "How is it that you are still growing?"

"It´s a wolf thing. If it helps I'll walk on my knees all day and you'll feel super tall."

I didn´t stop laughing, "Really…You'd walk the rest of the day on your knees"

"Absolutely" He said and got down on his knees as to prove it. I laughed at him and leaned down to give him a kiss. Then I pulled him up on his feet. "Let's go."

He gave me a quick grin and then he walked to the passenger side.

When we were in the car I quickly turned the heat on. Jacob gave me a skeptical look. "Really. You're cold. It's like a million degrees outside."

"You know not everybody has the temperature of a werewolf." I explained.

"You're right. We can't all be as hot as me." He said joking, and fanned himself with his hands.

"Well no, of course not." I said in the same tone. "Now get over here and warm me up a bit before I turn into ice."

"That's not very likely." He said but he scooted closer to me and put his arm around my shoulders. The heat radiating from his skin was amazing and I was warm before we were even out of the school parking lot.

How I loved riding my motorcycle. The feel of the wind blowing through my hair, as I flew down the narrow road. The feel of accelerating, going faster and faster and feeling unbeatable, like nothing in the world could ever touch you and all your fears just go away, it was amazing.

Even if these were not the reasons I'd started in the first place. It was why I kept it up even when I'd given up on my Edward hallucinations.

I was now speeding down a little graveled road, I could fell Jacob close behind me so I kicked it into next gear and took of even faster, I could feel him falling behind. I was really getting good at this and it pleased me, I was winning over him.

I remembered in the beginning when almost every motorcycle trip had landed me in the hospital. Now I rarely fell, I didn't even have to think about what I was doing it was natural for me now. I looked back to see that Jacob had fallen behind quite a bit. I playfully stuck my tongue out at him, he smiled at me.

Before I turned forward I saw his expression turn in horror. I quickly turned my head expecting my worst fear, Victoria, standing in the middle of the road.

But the picture in front of me was very different from what I'd expected. There was no road in front of me, about three hundred yards from where I was, the road ended turning into a forest with tightly packed trees. And I was going seventy miles an hour straight towards it.

After that everything happened very fast. I let go of the gas and tried to break as carefully as I could. It worked at first the bike slowed down a lot. But it wasn't enough I was still going way to fast. In panic I slammed down on the break. The bike wobbled under me and started sliding towards the trees.

Both I and the bike hit the trees with incredible force and then everything went black. When I opened my eyes Jacob was leaning over me with a worried expression. He saw when my eyes opened.

"Oh my god, Bella. Are you okay?" I tried to sit up but he stopped me. "What, are you crazy? We don´t know how badly you're hurt. Maybe I should call 911" That frightened me. I didn´t want to leave in an ambulance. Then there was no chance of the whole town not knowing.

"No Jake. I'm fine really. Look." I sat up. Except for my arm hurting a little and a really bad headache I didn't feel hurt at all.

"We should at least get you to the hospital and get your arm stitched up." He said looking down on my arm. I followed his gaze and saw that my arm was covered in blood and moss. My stomach heaved when the smell of blood caught up with me. The forest started spinning. I took a deep breath through my mouth and tried not to pass out. Jacob noticed and said. "You sure you're okay?"

I nodded franticly, I actually felt fine. "Trust me Jake. I'm fine it's just… I don't do blood." I wrinkled my nose.

"Really? You can't stand blood. That's a bit ironic, don't you think?" he laughed.

"Yeah. I guess." I said knowing right away what he meant. I really hadn't noted the irony before.

"Let's get you back to the truck. You think you can stand up?" he said more serious now.

"Yeah I think so." I said a little unsure. "But Jake I can't walk all the way back to the truck." My voice was high and panicky.

"Of course I'm not going to let you walk. I'll drive you back on my bike." He said as if it was obvious.

"What about my bike?" I complained.

"It's fine Bella. I'll come and get it later, now we need to take care of you. Nobody drives at this road anyway. It will be here later."

I was directly calmer. "Oh. Okay." He helped me up. I was a little wobbly but I didn't fall. He looked disapprovingly at my arm. "You're bleeding quite a lot. Here take my shirt." He started pulling his shirt off. I stopped him.

"No Jake it´s fine. You really don't need to take your shirt off."

He stopped, hesitating. "Are you sure. I mean it's no problem." He started to pull it over his head.

"Really. Jake, please put your shirt back on. It's not that much blood."

"Okay" he said reluctant and put it back on.

Man, it was hard to keep Jacob from taking his shirt off.

When we got to the hospital I was a little dazed. I must have hit my head pretty hard.

Dr. Gerandy came up to me at once; after all I was the Chief's daughter.

"What happened?" he asked alarmed. I looked down at myself. My clothes were dirty and spotted with blood. I looked awful. Then I realized that I didn't have a cover story. I couldn't exactly say that I'd been riding a motorcycle over legal speed and then driven into a tree. Charlie would have a stroke if he found out. I raked my brain for a good excuse, as always Jacob was a step ahead of me and he explained.

"We were out hiking in the woods when she tripped and fell down a steep slope. She cut her arm on a rock and I think she hit her head."

Dr. Gerandy looked back at me questioningly. I looked at him with a blank expression for a while before I realized he was looking for me to verify the story.

"Yeah" I said. " I fell." Could I be worse at lying? It sounded so false. The doctor didn't seem to notice though.

"Okay then, let's take a look at your arm."

It didn't take a lot of stiches, most of the cuts weren't so deep and though Dr. Gerandy was no Carlisle he was still good and it didn't take long. Jacob sat and held my hand the whole time it felt very nice to have his warm hand in mine. The annoying part came later. Of course Jacob had to tell them that I'd hit my head and therefor I had to have a CT-scan.

"So Bella, you can't stay out of the hospital long can you." He laughed, as we were walking from the hospital. "

He seemed pleased. "So since we're done here do you want to come to Emily's? She's cooking dinner."

He asking was just a formality; he knew I loved to spend time with the pack and most of all Emily who was Sam's fiancée. She and I had become very close in the last few weeks.

"You know I do."


	3. Family

**Family**

.

Before we went to Emily´s I had to go home and clean up. I looked like I´d been fighting with a bear in the forest. Jacob went to get the bike that we´d left on the side of the road. He came over later and drove me to Emily's. Of course Charlie didn´t mind that I was going somewhere with Jacob. Charlie adored Jacob and he was really happy that I seemed to be happy now.

When we got to the house there were lights shining through the window and you could hear many voices coming from inside. When I stepped out of the truck the scent of food hit me. No one could cook like Emily.

Looking at the little house I suddenly felt very at home. I really felt like I belonged here, this was a place where I could be myself. Jacob came up behind me and put his arms around my waist. We stood there for a second looking at the house.

"Shall we go inside?" he asked.

"Yes" I answered and we started walking towards the house. Jacob kept his arms around me and didn´t release me until we were inside.

"Hi you two." Embry called out, his mouth full of bread.

Emily looked disapprovingly at him. "Embry please wait ´til you´ve swallowed to talk."

"Pig" Quil commented.

"Hey guys" I said.

"Hi, Bella." Emily answered and came to give me a quick hug. Then she went to the stove to stir something. It smelled absolutely delicious. Jacob and I went to sit down at the table with the others.

"And what have you to been doing today?" Paul asked looking at my bandaged arm.

Jacob laughed and said. "Bella and I took the bikes out and she drove hers into a tree."

"Wow Bella you really have shity luck don't you" Jared laughed.

"Impressive." Paul said mockingly.

The others laughed too, except for Emily who asked. "Are you okay Bella?"

"I´m fine." I assured her. "Just a couple of stiches and a mild concussion. Jacob is the one you should worry about." He turned to me with a puzzled expression. I explained a little smug. "You see, I was winning over him. I can´t believe I´m better than him now." I laughed at his shocked expression and everyone else joined in. But then his face grew softer and he said with false offence, "Are you saying that you're better at riding motorcycles than me."

"That's exactly what I'm saying."

"Well then, rematch, soon."

"Sure, but you know I'll probably just beat you again."

"Really…" He started, but Emily interrupted him announcing that dinner was ready.

After that there was no real conversation. Everybody was too occupied with eating. How Emily could cook, she was a goddess in the kitchen and this was truly delicious. Jacob and his brothers always ate for three men each, so there were hardly ever any leftovers, as was the case today.

When everyone was done Emily got up to clear the table. I stood up to help her, but she just shook her head. "Sit down Bella. I've got it, you're the guest."

I smiled. " I really don't mind. And I'm hardly a guest; I'm here almost every day."

She smiled back at me." Yeah, I guess."

The boys sat talking at the table while we started the dishes. They didn't look like they'd given helping us a thought. Emily handed me a plate to dry while I listened to what they were saying.

"Maybe if we change the strategy a little we could ambush her…." Jacob's voice was low and urgent. I stopped listening. I knew exactly what they were talking about. Victoria.

I shuddered. Emily noticed and she gave me the same worried look that probably was on my face. Even though the guys were overly confident neither her nor I was. She also knew what it was like to worry for your loved one, to not know if he was coming back.

She looked at Sam with loving worried eyes and I at Jacob. How I wished that I could just make it go away, the worry and the cause for it, Victoria.

I was suddenly angry. What right did she have coming here putting worry into this house, my haven in a way. I just wanted to scream at her that she had no reason for doing all this; Edward was no longer my mate. He wouldn't care if I died. The thought made my chest ache and I bent forward my arms around me trying to hold myself together. Emily noticed. "Are you okay Bella?" Her voice worried. Jacob instantly looked up at me.

"Bella, what´s wrong?" his voice was panicked and he got up and walked over to me. I heard his sigh of comprehension as he recognized the way my arms were wrapped around me.

He pulled me into his arms and whispered in my ear low enough so that the others didn´t hear. "It´s okay Bella. I´m here, I love you and I´ll never leave." His words made all the difference. The pain let up and I felt a lot better. Soon it didn´t hurt at all. I relaxed and whispered. "Thank you."

The rest of the pack and Emily had seen our entire transaction. They looked at us with incredulous expressions. They didn´t know what Edward had meant to me and the damage it had done me when he´d left, how it still pained me.

Even though the wolves could hear each other's thoughts while in wolf form Jacob had been very careful not to think too much about me when he was running around as a wolf.

"Bella what was that?" Emily´s words brought me back to reality.

I looked apologetically at her. "Nothing. I´m fine, just scared."

The others took that as a good enough explanation and went back to their conversations. Jacob went to sit at the table but he kept his eyes on me. I smiled at Emily who looked doubtfully at me. Then I picked up a plate and started drying it again.

When the dishes were done Emily turned to me with a smug smile on her lips. I looked questioningly at her. Then she looked at Sam and he nodded. What was this? I gave her a frustrated look. Then she cleared her throat.

"Everyone can I have your attention please." Everybody turned their heads up to her. Sam came to stand by her side. He smiled at her with such love it was hard to look at them, and then he put his arms around her waist.

"So" Sam said. "We have some news."

Emily took a deep breath. "Well, we´ve set a date for the wedding. It´s quite soon, the 20th of June, 'cause I'd like to have the wedding before I start showing. You see, I´m pregnant."

I froze in shock. "Really, you´re pregnant?" I almost screamed of excitement.

She gave me a big smile and nodded.

"Congratulations." I said and threw my arms around her.

I heard chairs scraping against the floor as the boys came up to Sam to congratulate him too.

"Congrats Sam." I heard Jake say. When they were done with Sam they moved on to Emily. I released her and let the others hug her.

Wow. I couldn't believe it. Sam and Emily were getting married and having a kid. Wow. They were not that much older than me but they were already settling down.

Emily pulled me aside then and out on the porch.

"You weren't expecting that were you?" She said playfully.

"Definitely not. But that´s so great… Right?" I asked unsure.

"Yes it´s great." She smiled and put her hands on her stomach.

"So…" she said then and turned to lean over the porch rail and look out into the dark night. "I wanted to ask you something."

"What is it?" I asked. I could hear the boys from inside, laughing and joking.

She looked down at her feet. "Well, I was wondering if you'd be my maid of honor?"

I stared at her in horror. "What? No, you can't be serious. You know I don't like stuff like that." I could picture it. Me in a bridesmaid dress walking down the aisle tripping making a fool out of myself, ruining her wedding.

"Oh come on Bella." She begged, turning to face me. "You're my closest friend. Please?"

I shook my head. "You know there is nothing I wouldn't do for you. I could die for you, but be a bridesmaid. No way."

"Please Bella I would mean so much to me. Please?"

I looked into her pleading eyes. "Maybe." I said, caving.

"Please. It'll be a small wedding anyway, just friends and close family. Please…"

"Fine. I´ll do it."

I took a deep breath. "I mean, of course I'll do it Emily. You're my best friend and I'd love to be a part of your wedding."

I wouldn't think about it too much and it would be over soon.

"Perfect. Thank you Bella." She said and hugged me.

I hugged her back. "You're welcome. I can't believe this. You're getting married, and having a baby."

"Yes, I know. I don't think I've really grasped it yet, any of it." She said and moved her hands to her stomach.

"So how long have you been keeping this with from me." I said in false offence following her hands with my eyes.

"Well…" She said. "I just found out for sure yesterday, we've been trying a while though." He voice was filled with pure joy.

She was getting everything she ever wanted and I was so happy for her. Suddenly tears filled my eyes. And I threw my arms around her.

She chuckled in surprise and hugged me back. When she heard my soft sobbing she pulled away slightly and asked. "What's wrong Bella?" Her voice was concerned.

"Nothing." I answered drying the tears from my eyes. "I'm just so happy for you."

She laughed relieved and said. "You're a weird little girl, you now that right."

I laughed with her.

"Let's go inside" She said. "It's getting kinda chilly."

Inside everything was back to normal. The boys were sitting at the table talking. We joined them. I sat next to Jacob and he put his arms around me his attention still in the conversation, and Emily went to sit down next to Sam, he took her hand in his.

I sat there daydreaming, completely at home with where I was. Sitting at that table with Jacob´s warm arms around me listening to their voices as they spoke I forgot time completely. So when I looked at the clock I was shocked. I jumped up. It was one o'clock in the morning. And though Charlie liked Jacob I'm sure he didn't approve of me staying out that long on a school night.

"It's one o'clock. I have to get home." I said to Jacob. He seemed surprised too.

"Time flies huh? I'll drive you home."

We said goodbye to the guys and I hugged Emily goodbye promising that I would come tomorrow after school so we could start the wedding plans. When we got out to the truck, Sam came out the door.

"Jacob, can I talk to you for a second?" He said in a very serious tone.

I looked questioningly at Jacob he shrugged his shoulders and said. "Wait here I´ll be right back." Then he walked over to Sam.

I got into the truck and started the engine.

Jacob was back in just a few short minutes. He got into the passenger seat and said in a light tone. "Don't you think it sort of defeats the purpose of me driving you home if you're going to drive."

I ignored his attempt to distract me.

"What was that about?" I asked and nodded towards the house, where Sam was just walking through the door. Jacob looked at me with an indecisive expression.

"Nothing." He answered innocent. "Sam just asked me to be his best man that's all." I could tell he was hiding something from me, which was unusual for him. Normally he told me everything.

"Really?" I asked skeptical.

He knew I knew he was hiding something from me, he sighed and said. "I´ll tell you later okay? It´s nothing to worry about."

His tone was so serious that I didn´t push it. Instead I said. "Well I´m quite capable of driving myself home. I just like your company."

He seemed relieved that I´d let it go and said. "Well I like your company too Ms. Swan." Then he kissed me.

I was walking in the forest again. It was cold and dark, I recognized that I was dreaming and even though this was the exact nightmare I´d had so many times before, something felt different. I was wandering, searching compulsively but something was different, I couldn´t put my finger on it though.

Although it was dark, there was some light shining through the leaves high above my head. Must be a full moon, I thought to myself and I just wanted to get to a clearing so that I could see it. To confirm that it was in fact full moon out.

I kept wandering and, I felt it coming now, the emptiness that came when I realized there was nothing out there to find. No reason for searching. I prepared for it.

The trees were long and dark, leaning over me. Why didn´t it come, I almost wanted it to now. I just wanted to wake up. I kept walking, and as I pushed through some wet ferns I was suddenly in a little clearing staring straight at Emily's house. In front of it stood Jacob lounging against the porch rail, his face lit up by the moon that was round and beautiful. He came up to me and put his arms around me and then he kissed the top of my head. "You took a long time." He said. "Did you get lost?"

I heard someone speak then and realized that it was me. "Yeah, I got lost. But I´m home now."

I woke up with a start.

How weirdly the dream had taken a turn, from nightmare to home. I lay thinking about it a while. Jacob had been there, there was something to look for, and something left. I smiled to myself and turned to lie on my back. Then I realized I was not alone. Jacob was lying next to me snoring like… well a dog. I looked at his beautiful face. He looked so young when he was sleeping. Maybe that wasn´t so strange considering that he was actually two years younger than me. It was easy to forget that since he was physically about twenty-five. It was a wolf thing. Yeah there were a lot of those, wolf things, I didn´t even now half of it myself.

He was waking up now, I could tell because his snoring always got a little louder right before he woke up.

He opened his eyes a little dazed and yawned. I couldn´t help myself I leaned to him, my lips searching for his. He was surprised when our lips met but then he pulled me on top of him so I could kiss him easier. We lay there neither of us willing to let go of the other. Our kiss lasted very long but when he finally broke it I was breathless.

He chuckled a little out of breath himself. "Wow, that was some wakeup call. I think we should make it a tradition."

"Yeah me too." I said and gave him a quick kiss.

Then we heard something outside my door. I froze not sure what to expect. Then I heard Charlie's whisper. "Bella, are you awake?" he gave the door a light knock then he pulled down on the handle. He tried to open it but to my relief it was locked, something I never did. "Bella, why is your door locked?" he sounded agitated.

I pulled myself out of my shock and quickly replied. "Really is it locked I didn´t know. Wait just one second and I´ll come and open it for you." I scrambled out of bed and in my haste I caught my foot on my quilt and fell very loudly to the floor.

Charlie knocked again. "Bella what was that?"

"Nothing dad, I just tripped." I pulled Jacob from the bed, he was quietly laughing to himself. How could he laugh at this, Charlie would kill both him and me if he knew Jacob had spent the night here.

"Go hide." I said frustrated. He smiled and opened the door to my closet and closed it behind him.

"Bella." Charlie called. "You better open this door right now." I got to the door in that moment and threw it open. I put on my most innocent face and said. "What is it dad?"

He scanned my room with doubtful eyes. "Are you okay in here?"

"Yeah sure I´m fine, why do you ask?" my voice was high and out of breath.

"I heard a noise."

"Oh, dad I just tripped. You know how I am, clumsy clumsy." I laughed a high strange laugh. Wow, I really sucked at lying. It sounded so false.

Charlie looked skeptically at me and said. "Well I was just going to work and wanted to make sure you were up so that you wouldn´t miss school. I didn´t hear you come in last night."

"Well you know I was quite, didn´t want to wake you. I came home really early though… And school I will so be there, ready to learn stuff." Oh my god what was I saying, had I gone completely insane. No way, Charlie wouldn´t see through that. He looked at me probably thinking I´d gone crazy.

"You sure you're okay? You seem a bit off."

"No dad I´m completely fine, fit as a fiddle. Never been better, thanks for asking."

"Okay then, I´m off to work. See you when I get home." He voice was unsure, probably doubting my sanity.

"Yes I will be here. Bye now." I said and closed the door with a sigh.

I stood there leaning against the door until I heard the front door open and close and his car pull out. Then Jacob came out of the closet, that big infectious smile on his face.

He started laughing as soon as he walked forward and caught me in one of his bear hugs. I joined in.

Eventually are laughter faded and he let me go.

"Wow, Bella that was just, wow. You´d think you were hiding a body in here or something."

"I can´t help I´m a shitty liar."

"That's a bit of an understatement, don't you think?"

"Yeah." We laughed together again, until I looked at the clock standing on my nightstand.

Shit. "Jake I have to get ready for school."

He looked at the clock too. "And I really have to go. I have to relive the guys they´ve been on watch all night. I must have fallen asleep here when I took you home last night."

"Yeah, speaking of last night. Do you mind telling me what was up with Sam?"

His expression hardened. "You know I hate keeping things from you. I will tell you Bella there's just some things I need to figure out first. Okay?"

"Okay." I sighed. I knew he would tell me soon.

"I have to go now. I´ll see you after school, I´m meeting Mike there." He said. Then he gave me a quick kiss and went out the window.

"We have a door you know." I shouted to him, but he was already gone.

I stood there silent for a while, looking out the window to the place where he´d disappeared into the trees. Then I remembered that I was running late.


	4. Alpha

**Alpha**

I ran across the schoolyard as the bell rang, I made it to class just in time. I hurried to my seat in the back next to Angela. We had Spanish together in the morning. She smiled at me when I came to sit down next to her.

"Hi" I said a little out of breath.

"Hi Bella." She whispered back. Mr. Scott had already started the lesson.

Class was a pain, I hadn't slept much due to coming home so late and having Jacob in my bed, plus the dream, so I was really tired. I almost fell asleep several times. Angela surreptitiously nudged me every time I was drifting, and for that I was grateful.

Aside from my weariness I was also lost in my own thoughts. I was thinking of the dream from last night, it had been so different from my other dreams. Just when I thought that the emptiness would take over, there was Jacob. Maybe this meant that I was getting over Edward…

I knew that wasn´t true as soon as I thought of it. I would never get over him. His voice, his beautiful face and his scent which… which… I couldn´t remember. I panicked. I couldn´t remember what he´d smelled like. I scrambled my brain but it just wasn´t there. I was forgetting, and it scared me.

All I had left of him were my memories and now they were fading more and more for every day that went by. Just when I was about to scream I remembered, he´d had the most wonderful smell in the world. The relief of remembering was overpowered by the feeling of abandonment, my chest started aching.

Then there was Jacob, who loved me. He was out there, risking his life. Hunting the vampire that wanted to kill me, slowly.

Sorrow, love, guilt and fear. My brain was swimming; surely this was enough to drive anyone crazy. I put my head down on my bench and I was so out of it that I didn´t even notice when the bell rang at the end of class.

"Bella?" Angela's voice was low and cautious. "Bella, class is over."

I looked up at her a little dazed. "What?" I took a look around the room which was almost emptied of students.

"Oh." I stood up and took my books.

Angela gave me a worried look. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I´m fine just tired. Let´s go" I pulled her along out of the classroom. She seemed concerned but she didn´t say anything. Angela was great that way. Jessica though, not so much.

When we got to our lockers, she was standing there eagerly throwing herself into a story about her latest date with Mike which had been, according to her, the greatest night ever. He had taken her to this restaurant…

I stopped listening properly after a while, and tried to focus on getting the right books for my next class.

"Bella, hello. Are you listening to me?" I looked up, Jessica seemed annoyed.

"Sorry Jess. What did you say?"

When she saw my face tired from last class's emotional hurricane her expression quickly changed. "Oh my god Bella. You look horrible."

"Well thanks." I muttered. "I didn't sleep much last night and I had the strangest dream."

"Really, about what?" Jessica's voice was curious.

"You know I don't really remember." Anyone would have detected the false note in my voice.

"You must remember something…"

Angela interrupted her then. "Jess, we should really go, we don´t want to be late for class."

Jessica looked at me and then back at Angela. "Fine, let´s go."

I exhaled in relief and gave Angela a thankful look.

"See you at lunch." Jess called as they walked away.

I walked to my next class, a million different things on my mind.

All of a sudden I was sitting at our usual lunch table, not really sure how I´d gotten there.

Everybody was there; Lauren. Tyler and Eric were all here. Angela was sitting next to me with Ben at her other side. Just as I looked up, Mike and Jessica came to join us.

"Hey guys." Angela said.

"Did your class end later or something? It has been lunch for forever." Lauren said in a superior voice. It sounded more like an accusation than a question.

Yeah, I really didn´t like Lauren, and ever since I´d started going out with Jacob… Well let´s just say it hadn´t exactly help things between us.

"No." Mike answered, with no explanation. Jessica looked down blushing.

On a more perceptive I probably would have figured out what all that was about but… not today.

I had so many things on my mind. I didn´t even realize that Angela was talking to me and she had to repeat her question three times before I noticed. She was sitting next to me and whispered quietly so that the others wouldn´t hear.

"Are you sure you're okay, Bella?" I could hear she was just worried and not looking for gossip, I really wanted to tell her everything but what could I say; ´Oh you now I'm just worrying about my werewolf boyfriend who's out chasing a vampire who wants to kill me because my ex-boyfriend/vampire killed her mate. SO NO I'M NOT OKAY.`

"Fine, just tired." I said instead.

I don't think she bought it, but she saw my reluctance so she didn´t push it. Instead she turned back to Ben who sat reading, leaving me to my own thoughts.

I turned my head to look down on my tray of uneaten food and tried to think of nothing, it didn't work. My mind was filled with Jacob, finding Victoria, fighting Victoria. I shivered. Why couldn't my bad luck focus on me, for once? Or better yet why couldn't my bad luck just leave me alone. Hadn't I suffered enough, hadn't the people I loved been through enough because of me. Maybe this was karma, but then again maybe not. Because I couldn't remember killing anyone!

Suddenly I got mad and I just wanted to hit something. I clenched my fist under the table. I wanted to find Victoria and kill her myself, watch her take her last breath… I unclenched my fist, what was I thinking. Surely this must be a reaction to the lack of sleep and worrying like crazy for Jacob.

Someone came up behind me. The person put their hand over my eyes. At first I froze, and then I heard a familiar husky voice say. "Guess who?"

He chuckled and released me, then he came to sit down on the bench next to me.

"Jacob." I sighed in relief and threw my arms around him. He hugged me back.

"How is it going Jake?" Mike said.

"It's all good. Very good in fact." Jacob answered with a smile.

"Any special reason for visiting today?" Ben asked.

"Yes. Yes there is. I just need to talk to Bella for a second." He looked at me.

"Okay." I said as he pulled me for my seat and out the door.

"Wonder what that was about?" I heard Jessica ask before we were out the door.

It was cold outside and I was a little annoyed as it was. "What's this about Jake?" I said tiredly.

"Bella. I have great news. I didn't want to tell you until I was more sure, but we've looked through the entire continent, and we couldn't find a trail anywhere, not a fresh one anyway. I mean she would always run far but never so far and I just think that maybe…"

He was talking really fast and his words started to slur together. "Hey, slow down Jake. What are you saying?"

He cleared his throat and tried to make himself speak slower. "Victoria, we can't find a trace of her anywhere. I think she might have given up." He gave me a big smile.

"Isn't that great?" He said and picked me up in one of his bear hugs. He spun me around, then when I didn't rejoice with him he sat me down.

"Don't you see Bella. You don't have to worry anymore. She isn't going to bother you anymore. Of course we'll still keep an eye on things to make sure it wasn't a trick. But I don't think it was. I really think she's given up."

My mind started to work slowly. Jake thought Victoria had given up that there was absolutely nothing to worry about. I didn't.

"Bella?"

"I… I don't know what to say Jake."

"You don't think she's given up do you?" He asked, smile wiped from his face. How easy he knew what I thought.

"No Jake, it's not that. Well that too, but I just don't want to get false hope now to have it crushed when she comes back."

"But she isn't coming back."

"How about we give a few weeks first, huh?" I said.

"Fine." He answered but not quite letting me suppress his good mood. "But then when it turns out she really is gone. Will you please be happy with me?"

"I will." I said and smiled. "_If _it turns out she's gone."

"_When…_" he corrected me and then he said," I have to go now. Sam's expecting me back. Tell Mike I'll come by after school to help him with his car."

"Okay." I said and he leant down to kiss me goodbye. I took a deep breath and went back inside.

I went to sit down at the table again. Even if I didn't believe that she'd given up I still felt a lot better. I guess I'd let myself hope. Or maybe it was the fact that Jacob was so happy and surely this had to mean that he wouldn't be risking his life every day anymore.

"What was that all about?" Angela asked with a smile looking towards the place Jake and I had stood talking.

I smiled back. "Jacob just had some good news and he wanted to tell me right away."

"What news?" Ben said as he looked up from his book.

"Nothing you'd understand. Something had happened in La Push." I was careful to keep it the truth so that my not so brilliant lying skills wouldn't show.

"Oh. Okay."

"By the way Mike…" I said remembering Jacob's message. "Jake wanted me to tell you that he's coming by after school, to take a look at your car."

"Okay. Good." Mike said. "It's kind of annoying to walk to school."

"Are you free tonight then, Bella?" Angela asked. "Ben is going out with some friends leaving me stranded at home. And Jessica's going out. Maybe we could do something?"

I sighed, I hadn't forgotten about Emily's wedding, or the fact that I'd said I'd be her maid of honor, though I'd tried not to think about the whole ordeal. "No, Ang I'm not. Sorry. I'm going over to Emily's, to help her with her wedding."

"They've set a date for the wedding?" Angela asked exited.

"Yeah" I answered her. "It's actually quite soon. June the 20th."

"Wow, that is soon. It's like what, five weeks or something?" Jessica marveled.

"Yeah."

"Wow, so soon. Doesn't it usually take longer than that to pull a wedding together?" she asked.

"I don't know." I answered her. I didn't know how to plan a wedding or how long it took. "But she wants to keep it small, just family and close friends." I added.

"'Kay" She said.

"So, I'm sorry Angela, I can't tonight but maybe some other day." I said.

"Yeah." She said a little down.

"Maybe this weekend instead." I said. "We could watch a movie or something."

"Yeah, this weekend." She agreed with a smile.

The guys who had quickly tuned out of our conversation when wedding talk started, now turned to join the conversation again.

"Movie?" Mike said. "Maybe we could all go."

"Yeah." Jessica said. "Why don't we."

"I'm in." Ben said.

"Me too," Angela said, then she added. "You could invite Jacob, Bella."

"I'll ask him." I agreed. "What do you guys want to see? I heard about a new romantic comedy coming out soon."

"Please not a chick flick." Mike complained.

"I hear you." Ben concurred.

"Well, I'm not sitting through another mindless action movie." Jessica said.

"I think we should see something scary." Angela said.

The movie talk lasted all through lunch, without anything being decided.

After school, Mike and I walked together to the parking lot. Jacob was there leaning against his car (that he'd built himself).

"Hey, guys." He said as we came up to him. Then he caught me in his arms.

"Can't breathe Jake." I panted.

He laughed and set me down. "So are you ready to go Mike?"

"Yes, and thanks again for doing this." Mike answered.

"No problem, man."

"I'll see you later Jake, I'm going to Emily's place to help out." I said and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"See you."

I got home late that night and the house was dark. Emily and I had gotten the wedding invitations done. And then we'd moved on to looking for dresses and wedding cakes.

Now I was dragging my feet up the stairs, it was only ten but I was exhausted.

I could hear Charlie's snores as I walked into my room and turned the light on.

I jumped three feet in the air and let out a loud gasp in shock.

Jacob was sitting on my bed his legs crossed.

When he saw my reaction he laughed quietly. "I didn't scare you did I? That was not my intentions at all." The sarcasm was clear in his voice.

I took a breath to calm myself,"No not at all." I answered ironically. "I was totally prepared for someone sitting on my bed."

"How did you get in here?"

"You don't lock your window."

"Right." It was so easy to forget that Jacob was a werewolf sometimes, and the fact that he could climb up to my two story window. He'd always be just Jacob to me.

I was still standing in the doorway to my room and Jacob motioned for me to sit down next to him.

I came to sit down, and his expression turned serious. For a moment he just stared into my eyes. I looked back at him, after a minute my patience was out.

"What is it Jake?"

He seemed to come back to reality. "I have something to tell you."

"O…kay" I said. "What?"

"It has something to do with the other day. You know when Sam wanted to talk to me."

Ahh, the mystery of the conversation he'd had with Sam the other night. "Shoot." I said eager to know what had gone down between them.

"Well… Now that Sam is getting married and having a kid he doesn't exactly want to… you know."

"What?"

"Uhm… he doesn't want to be the Alpha so well he kinda asked me too. In fact he's giving up running around as a wolf altogether. I didn't tell you before 'cause I hadn't decided what I was going to do yet but now I know and I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to say yes I mean I can't abandon the guys and I totally get why Sam would want to quit and it's not like it's going to be a big deal or anything I'm just gonna decide more and…"

He was talking so fast that his words were starting to slur, and he didn't make any sense.

"Shh.." I said trying to calm him. He stopped talking and looked apologetically at me.

"Slow down Jake. Take a breath." He did as I said and then looked at me with guilty eyes. "So what do you think?" He said.

"I don't know." I told him honestly. "Alpha huh…?" I was trying to organize my thoughts. "But I thought you didn't want to be Alpha?"

"No, not really, but it is my responsibility, and I can't let the guys down."

He sounded like he was trying to convince himself too. "Are you absolutely sure?" I asked.

"Yes." There was no doubt in his voice.

"Well okay… great then." I said and smiled.

"Really…?" He said. "You're not upset?"

"No I'm not upset, a little surprised but not upset. If this is what you think is right for you and the pack, then I say it's great. Besides I think you'd make a great Alpha."

"I really hope I will." He said concerned.

"I know you will. Chief Jacob." I smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

He smiled back. "I love you."

"Love you too." I said, and even though I wouldn't admit it to anyone, not even myself every time I said those words my thoughts wondered to Edward.


	5. Graduation

**Graduation**

Almost four weeks had gone without any sign of Victoria, and there was exactly 11 days left until the wedding. It was coming together great, we'd picked out a venue, a cake, the dress, everything was falling into place. Emily had decided on an outdoor wedding by the beach in La Push. It was going to be so romantic and I even caught myself looking forward it.

"So are you excited?" Jacob asked me when we were driving home from a dinner at Emily's place.

"I have to say that I am. At first I wasn't too keen on the whole maid of honor thing, but I'm coming around. I'm so happy for them and I actually think the wedding is going to be fun." I answered, and the added jokingly. "Even though there's dancing involved."

"Well I think it's great that you're happy for Sam and Emily, but that's not what I was talking about."

"Then what?" I asked puzzled.

"Hello Bella, you're graduating the day after tomorrow. Or did you forget about that?"

"Right, graduation. To tell you the truth I haven't even thought about it, I've been so busy with the wedding. This semester has just flown by. And now it's all ending, I never thought I'd say this but I'm going to miss that place."

Only two days until graduation. In the midst of planning the wedding I had forgotten completely. Luckily I hadn't forgotten about college, I didn't really have money to go somewhere fancy so I thought I´d just stay where my dad and Jacob were, and go to the University of Washington. I had sent in my application a few months ago.

"Yes I can see why you might. Forks high school is just so wonderful." Jacob laughed.

I gave him a skeptical look and said. "No not the school, but you know the memories" Then I added a bit down, "At least the happy ones."

I was thinking of Edward leaving of course, and Jacob knew it. The zombie period wasn't exactly a happy time.

So Jacob quickly changed the subject, "Well I think we should throw a party, you know to celebrate."

"Oh no Jake, you know how I feel about parties."

"Yes and if it was up to you, you'd be spending graduation night in front of the TV with take-out. I'm not letting that happened. You should get to have some fun." He gave me a long puppy eyed look. "Please."

"Fine but I decide when, where, and who." I finally said, caving.

"Of course, you're not going to regret this, we are going to have so much fun." He said as I turned into my driveway.

I turned off the engine and said, "Do you want to come in. I'm sure Charlie wouldn't mind."

"Sure, got nothing to do anyways. Alpha duty is kind of easy now that Victoria is gone."

I gave him a hard look, he knew what I meant and said. "I know you don't believe it, but we haven't picked up on her sent in almost four weeks. I think it's safe to say, that she isn't coming back."

"Or she's just planning something. It just doesn't make sense that she would give up like that."

"Let's just be happy she isn't around anymore. Okay?"

"Okay." I smiled at him and we went inside. The hallway was dark, and you could hear Charlie's snores form upstairs, it must be later then I'd thought. Jacob and I went up to my room, quietly, and closed the door.

"Let's talk about the party." Jacob said as he went to lie down on my bed. "Who should we invite?"

I turned to the door and locked it with a click. Then I turned to Jacob with a smile. "I don't really care." I walked over to him and lay down next to him.

He smiled my favorite smile and I leaned over and kissed him.

"I thought you were all strict on the who, when and where." He said when I released his lips and moved down to his neck.

"I guess I changed my mind." I said a little out of breath. "Just as long as you're there, I don't really care who comes." I pulled myself closer to him.

"So then I could invite… I don't know… Lauren." Jacob snickered.

I pulled away and looked at him skeptically. "This may come as a surprise, but right now I don't want to talk about the party."

"I could live with that." He said as him pulled me on top of him so I could kiss him more easily. After that there wasn't a lot of talking.

There was never any doubt or hesitation between me and Jacob, like everything else, this part was easy too. Our lips moved together and there was never a need to break the kiss, to be careful. Eventually we fell asleep in each other's arms, and I slept dreamlessly and heavy in his warm embrace.

The next morning I woke up from Charlie's knocks on the door. "Bella, your door's locked again." Knock, knock. "Let me in."

"Just a second, dad." I turned to wake Jacob but he wasn't in my bed. I shuffled out of bed a little dazed, unlocked the door, and opened it.

"What is it dad?" I said in an annoyed and dazed voice.

"I'm going to the station, and I just wanted to make sure you were okay, and that you got home safe last night." He scanned my room with his eyes.

"Okay, but as you can see I'm fine. Bye bye." I closed the door on Charlie and went back to bed. I was really tired. My head hit the pillow and right then I remembered that I was graduating tomorrow. The thought woke me up and I got up to got eat breakfast.

I was actually really excited, mom and Phil were flying in from Florida and I had (reluctantly) gone shopping with Emily and had found a good dress to wear.

Everything was in order for the party that Jacob had decided to throw me, as well. We were going down to La Push. The wolves, Emily, and the guys from school; Jessica, Mike, Angela, and Ben were all going to come. These were my demands and I'd told Jacob that he could take care of the rest.

The wedding was coming along great and everything was set for graduation and the party.

So there was nothing much to do today, I decided to occupy myself with reading Wuthering Heights again. While reading of Heathcliff and Catherine, I heard the doorbell ring. I flew down the stairs and opened the door. Outside in the rain stood Jacob, he was drenched, and only in his cutoff jeans. He had a stern look on his face.

"What's wrong?" I asked upset by his appearance.

"Can I come in?" he asked, avoiding my question.

I stepped out of the way and he walked past me and in to the kitchen where he sat in a chair and put his head in his hands.

"What's wrong?" I repeated, as I followed him in.

"She back."

Those two words were all it took, I knew exactly what he meant, and a strange mixture of; hate, despair, fear, and anxiety went through me. "She's back." I said with a monotone voice. "She's never going to stop. Not until she kills me." I leaned against the kitchen counter as my head spun.

Jacob flew out of his chair and almost screamed "I won't let that happen, even if I have to hunt all night I will find her and kill her myself."

And just like that he was out the door running towards the woods.

"Wait" I cried as I followed him out into the rain, but it was useless, he was already out of sight. I stood there in the rain for a while not able to move.

Soon the cold grew too uncomfortable and I went inside. "So much for a slow day" I thought to myself as I tried to collect my thoughts.

Victoria was back _again_, Jacob was out hunting her _again_, and I was left at home to worry _again_… great.

The whole day passed, painfully slowly, I tried to read some more but it was impossible. I was too distracted but my own thoughts that I didn't notice the meaning behind the words and after a few pages I had no idea what I'd just read, therefore I gave up. Instead I just waited and by bedtime he still wasn't back. I didn't want to sleep but eventually I couldn't fight my weariness anymore and reluctantly I went to bed. I slept uneasy and woke up multiple times.

There was a faint noise by the window and suddenly I was very much awake and sat up in the bed with my eyes on the window. Jacob climbed in and he had a remorseful expression. "Sorry." Was all he said as he went to lay down next to me.

I was immensely grateful that he was alive and in one piece. I hugged him and held him close as if I was afraid he would disappear again.

He hugged me back and said, "I'm sorry, I can't even imagine how worried you must have been. It was stupid of me to run of like that, I just wanted to find her and kill her, to have it over with." He had his eyes on the ceiling, and a serious expression.

"Did you? Find her I mean?" I asked.

"No. I ran halfway to Canada trying." His voice was somber.

I exhaled a bit in relief. "I was really worried, you know."

"I know, and again, I'm so sorry. We'll just have to go back to normal guarding duties and hope we can catch her soon. In fact Jared and Quil are watching your house as we speak."

"Okay, then let's sleep. I'm graduating tomorrow." I said, with a smile, in spite of everything going on.

"Good night." He said with a muted voice.

"Good night." I whispered.

Secure in Jacob's arms I fell asleep quickly.

I woke with a start out of a nightmare that was already slipping away, Victoria had made an appearance but more than that I couldn't remember.

Jacob was still here and I rolled over and put my head on his warm chest to listen to his heartbeat, this helped me calm down a bit and think about the situation. Okay, I thought. Victoria was back. She hadn't given up, as I had foolishly and unwillingly let myself believe. I thought about the past weeks and how happy I had been, how I had thought yesterday that everything was working out. I'd been so excited about the wedding, and about graduation. Graduation's today, I thought suddenly. But now the word was clouded with fear and uncertainty, would Jacob even be there or would he have to run around the woods as a wolf to protect me from Victoria.

No, I decided, he would be there. I wasn't going to let Victoria keep me from enjoying my own graduation. I had let her have too much power over my life and it was going to stop now, I would not let her scare me out of being happy today. With that I looked at the clock to see whether it was time to get up yet.

"Eight!" I screamed as I pushed Jacob out of my bed.

He fell loudly to the floor and asked in a dazed voice "What's wrong?"

"Jacob, look at the clock! I'm going to be late to my own graduation!" I shouted as I ran to the window to see if Charlie's cruiser was there, it wasn't. He must have left already, but why didn't he wake me? I thought as I gathered my things and went to the bathroom.

I had planned on showering and washing my hair this morning but there was no time. I brushed my hair and teeth, and got dressed quickly.

As I got back to the room Jacob had went down to get me a granola bar and he gave it to me as he said "Here, eat this. I'll drive."

I took my ugly yellow graduation gown and threw it over my arm, before following Jacob down the stairs and into my truck.

We were soon on the road but my truck was slow and I was afraid I'd miss the whole ceremony altogether. "Please step on it Jake. I need to be there like five minutes ago." I said urgently.

"I am stepping on it Bella. And you won't miss anything these things never start in time." There was confidence in his voice but he still tried to push the old engine even more.

When we got to the school all the seniors were already lined up to get their diplomas, they had only gotten to the B's though and I was immeasurably grateful that my last name started with an S. I ran across the lot and quickly joined the others in line. Jessica gave me a bewildered look from her place in the line.

They soon got to the S´s and I watched as Jessica walked over to get her diploma, she almost tripped at the end of the stairs up to the stage. I reminded myself to be careful with my step as they called my name. When I (carefully) walked up on the stage the entire wolf pack cheered loudly next to my mother, Phil and Charlie. Thankfully I made it across the stage without any accidents, and went to stand by the others.

Angela was the valedictorian, of course, and it was time for her speech.

"Until now the decisions we've made and the paths we've chosen have been easy choices…" She began, "When we were five, it was deciding what to wish for at Christmas. When we became ten, it was choosing who to invite to you birthday party. The paths we walked were the paths that are parents made for us. But now, as we graduate we're suddenly faced with much harder choices, we have to decide which path to walk in life. So where do we from here? A wise man once said; do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

"So now I ask you to listen to your hearts and not your parents and make your own trail. But as we head of to start our lives and to make new paths, we shouldn't forget the path that lead us here. The last four years we've all walked a single path together and as we turn to head off into our different directions we will remember the people we got to now here at forks high and all the great times we've had together.

It's been a privileged to walk beside you these past four years, and I hope we cross paths again, class of 2006. And with that I finish by saying; walk tall, and make your own path through life."

Everyone was on their feet clapping and cheering. Leave it to Angela to make a graduation speech that would get a standing ovation.

"Congratulations Bella!" Jacob said, as he caught up with me after the ceremony, and he gave me one of his bear hugs, "For not falling off the stage I mean" he laughed.

"Well, thank you." I said, my response laced with false offence.

"Congrats Bella. I'm so proud." Charlie had made his way through the crowd and as he hugged me I thought I saw him wipe away a tear.

"Are you crying dad?" I said a little surprised.

"No." He said a little embarrassed, but I saw him wipe away another tear. "Well, I can't help it I'm just so damn proud of you."

Sharing emotion wasn't one of Charlie's strengths, and I had unfortunately inherited this from him.

"Thanks dad." I said and we gave each other another awkward hug.

At that moment Phil and mom found us, and Renée threw her arms around me and the tears were streaming down her face. "Oh Bella, I'm so proud of you." She took my face in her hands. "I can´t believe my little girl is growing up."

"Thanks mom." I said and squirmed out of her hold.

"So this calls for a celebratory lunch." She continued. "I'm taking you guys out." She said to me and Charlie.

He started to protest but she just said, "How often does our daughter graduate from High school Charlie? We need to celebrate, let´s go."

She started to lead the way through the crowd, and Phil and Charlie followed. "Mom." I called, and she turned. "I'll meet you there I'm just going to say goodbye to my friends."

"Okay sweetie." She called back over the crowd.

I saw Jessica standing there with Mike, Ben and Angela, Jacob and I went over to them. "Congratulations." Jacob said as we got closer.

"Thanks." Mike said. "And thanks for the help with my car man, you saved my life."

"You're welcome" Jacob said and shook his hand.

Jessica hugged me with tears in her eyes. "Bella can you believe it's all ending, you have to promise we'll stay in touch"

"I promise." I said and hugged her back. She released me then and wiped the tears from her eyes. "By the way, what was that this morning? You almost missed the ceremony!" She said shocked.

"Yeah." Angela agreed concerned. "What happened there, did you oversleep?"

"I did, woke up at eight." I said, and Jacob chuckled beside me. I couldn't help but smile back at him. This morning I had been in a crazed, panicked state, but now everything was slowing down, and I was so grateful, I had been in time.

"Wow, you're lucky you didn't miss it. Imagine missing you own graduation." Mike mused.

"Well, fortunately I didn't." I smiled. "Look, I have to go have lunch with my parents, but we'll meet up at Emily's place at seven for the party. Okay?"

"Sounds good." Mike agreed.

"We'll be there." Ben said.

"Me too." Jessica said, and then they were all attacked by relatives who wanted to congratulate them. Jacob and I made are way through the crowd and out to the parking lot.

"So I'll see you at seven?" Jacob asked as he opened the car door for me.

"Yes." I smiled. "I'm actually excited about the party." I admitted.

"Really?" he said incredulous. "Isabella Swan, excited about a party, stop the presses." He snickered.

I laughed with him, and then I remembered about Victoria. "All of you will be there tonight, right? I mean, no one will be on guard duty." I asked.

He became serious. "Well, we figure that with all of us there, in human form, you will be safe enough for one night." Then his mood lightened. "But it is you we're talking about, with your luck who knows what will happen."

"Very funny Jake." I snapped. But I was grateful that they were all going to be there, in human forms. Like I said before, I wasn't about to let Victoria ruin graduation for me.

"See you at seven." I kissed him and got into the truck. I saw him wave as I drove away.

I knew exactly were my three parents had went, as there was only one restaurant in town that was appropriate for these sort of occasions.

I left my cap and gown in the truck and as I walked into the restaurant I saw the three of them sitting at a table. Renée was laughing loudly, Phil had his arm around her and she had her hand on Charlie's hand. I stood there for a moment watching them talk and laugh, before walking up and joining them.


	6. Party

**Party**

Charlie parked the cruiser next to Emily's house, he'd insisted on driving me to Emily's after he'd dropped Renée and Phil of at the airport. The sun was already setting, it was getting dark and the sky was beautifully colored. A slight breeze kept the temperature cool, and it was a perfect night, almost magical.

"Thanks for the ride dad." I started to get out of the car. "I won't stay out late, I promise."

"Bella…" He called and I turned and leaned in though the open car door. "It's your graduation night, if you _don't_ stay out late, your grounded." He chuckled.

"Fine, then don't wait up, I won't be home 'til late." I joked as I closed the car door.

I walked up to the house and just as I was about to walk in, someone caught me and spun me towards the back of the porch. I gasped, but then I heard Jacob's laughter and I sighed in relief. He sat me down, looked into my eyes, and took my face in his big warm hands, suddenly serious. He stroked my cheek with his thumb as he whispered, "I just love you so much." There was a slight desperation to his voice.

"I love you too, Jacob." I said sincerely, I placed my hands on his chest and felt the warmth radiating from his body. I wondered were the sudden declaration of love was coming from but I decided to just enjoy the moment. I breathed in the smell of summer evening, and wondered if this was what I was in for this summer, nights like this one. I certainly hoped so at least, I could stand like this forever.

"Why are you guys standing out here? The party's inside." Quil interrupted.

"Then maybe _you_ should go inside?" Jacob answered. He looked at Quil with annoyance, but I just smiled and led Jacob into the house. Quil followed, snickering at Jacob's expression.

There really was a party inside, there was music playing at full volume from a small stereo in the corner of the kitchen, and on the table stood various bottles, with various contents.

"What's this?" I asked Jacob in surprise.

"I guess the guys wanted to throw you a real party." Jacob said, looking around the room smiling.

"Where are Sam and Emily?" I asked. It was hard for me picturing the two of them here, since they were getting married and having a baby. This scene seemed too juvenile for the two of them.

"They decided to lend us the house." Jacob smiled.

I wanted to ask him why but at that moment Angela fell into my arms. "Hello, Bella." She slurred, "You're a great friend, you now that?"

"Have you been drinking Angela?" I asked bewildered.

"Just a little, tiny, bit." She said holding her fingers up showing me. I laughed, it was fun to see her so mellow and relaxed. Then Ben showed up in the doorway.

"Ben!" She shouted and let me go to throw herself into his arms, he laughed as he caught her.

"Maybe we should go and sit down on the couch." He suggested, and started leading her to the living room.

"That's something you don't see every day." Jacob chuckled as Ben helped Angela to the couch.

"Certainly not." I agreed. I was still a little shocked.

"Here you go." Embry said, as he put drinks in or hands.

"What is it?" I asked suspicious.

"Just drink it, it's good." He prodded.

I tasted it, it was a bit too sweet and had a very strong taste but it wasn't half bad. I took a real sip. Jacob was drinking like it was nothing, and I wondered if he'd ever drank before. My thoughts were interrupted by Jessica stepping through the door.

"Now this is what I call a party." She announced. "Hello, Bella. What are you drinking and where can I get one." She smiled as she gave me a quick hug, then she went over to the table and Embry supplied her with a drink.

The party went on until all hours, everyone was letting loose and having fun. My glass was frequently filled up, and after a while it was a little hard to walk straight. I went to sit down to make sure I wouldn't fall off the floor. I sat there watching my friends laugh, dance, and talk. I saw Jacob talking with Paul, and Quil, they were laughing. The room spun a bit and I decided to go out and get some air.

I felt better after breathing in the fresh air, and I started to walk down a path through the woods. I was feeling a bit out there and I got quite far before I realized I'd been walking for a long time. I wondered if the others had noticed that I had wandered of, and decided to turn around and head back.

I turned and froze on the graveled road. There she was, her hair glowing in the dark, a slight smile on her lips. She was dressed in black and it was hard to see her in the dark. If it wasn't for her hair and the moonlight I probably wouldn't have seen her.

"Hello Isabella." Her voice was strangely girly compared to her wild look.

"Victoria," I whispered. So here's where it ends, I thought. Drunk in the woods, murdered by a vampire. For a moment I wondered if she would taste the alcohol in my bloodstream, that got me laughing, and soon I was laughing out loud.

"What's so funny?" Victoria said agitated. I'm sure this wasn't how she'd thought I'd react when she finally got to me.

"Nothing." Is said stifling back laughter. It was probably not a good idea to enrage the person who was planning on killing you slowly and painfully, but my mood was crazy and this didn't even feel real.

"You know I'm going to kill you don't you?" she asked making her voice menacing.

"I kind of figured that, yeah." I was strangely relaxed considering the circumstances. I waited for the fear but there was none. Maybe it was better this way anyhow, Victoria would get her revenge and she would leave Jacob and the pack alone. No one had to get hurt, apart from me of course.

Victoria took a step towards me inhaling, I could see the hunger in her blood red eyes. It was then the fear kicked in and my legs ached to run away, but I knew it would do me no good to run.

"You smell incredibly good." She said and then she launched.

I closed my eyes and waited for the pain to come, but there was no pain. Instead I heard clothes ripping and I high growling. I opened my eyes to see Jacob fighting Victoria. What had he been doing here, and where were the others?

The fight was intense, they were moving so fast I could barely make out what happened. But it sounded like Jacob was losing and I knew he wouldn't be able to win this on his own, and unfortunately the loser in this fight wouldn't walk away.

I hated leaving Jacob alone with her but I couldn't help him by myself and I needed to find the others, I just hoped with all my soul I would be in time to save him.

"PAUL!" I screamed as I ran back to the house. I fell often but I just got up and kept going. I had to get Jacob help. "Quil!" I yelled again desperate, but there was no answer. Finally I saw the house. Paul and the rest, were walking out the door looking towards where my screams where coming from.

"You have to help him!" I shouted, out of breath. "She's killing him, you have to help him!"

Paul ran up to me, "What are you talking about Bella? Who's killing who?"

"Victoria, she's here. And Jacob can't fight her alone, you have to hurry." I wondered if it was already too late.

The wolves headed of sprinting into the woods at full speed. I saw them go and I sank down on the wet grass, please let them get there in time, I thought. I couldn't bear losing Jacob, he was everything to me now. If I lost him it would be the end of me, I would fall apart and no one would be able to put me back together again.

I sat there listening, all I heard was the silence from the woods, and it was _so_ loud. I wondered if Angela, Ben, Mike, and Jessica were still in the house or if they'd gone home, but I really didn't care. All I cared about now was that all the wolves get home safely, and that Jacob gets home alive.

It was all my fault, I should have insisted that someone be on guard duty during the party. I should have let Victoria scare me into not enjoying my graduation. I should have stayed home with my guard dogs outside in the woods.

What had I been thinking when I insisted on the wolves being at the party, there was a reason Jacob and the others hadn't caught her before, she was fast, strong and deadly. And now she was fighting with Jacob, or was that fight already over, had the others been too late. I couldn't stand it anymore, I had to be there now, to help or to just do something. I couldn't sit here while he was out there.

With that thought I stood up, stronger and steadier now, and started walking through the woods. I walked a long time speeding up and wondering if this was the right way, I couldn't remember walking this far, and the woods were still dead quiet. Dead, I thought, and walked even faster, almost running now.

The trees were tall above my head and there were no animals scurrying around, no birds singing in the treetops. The forest was truly _dead_ quiet.

Before I could panic too much I saw a big animal up ahead on the trail, the shape of a wolf with the height of a bear. I started sprinting, I ran up to the place where I'd seen the wolf and the scene that was waiting for me was very different than I had expected.

Victoria was lying in a... pile in the grass and Embry was lighting a match to set the body on fire. The other wolves were all in there cutoff jeans standing in a circle with somber expressions, around a still figure in the grass. The scene seemed wrong, Victoria was dead, they should be celebrating. I searched the faces looking for Jacob, but he wasn't there, my mind was working in slow motion. Paul looked up from ground, his eyes were sad and he looked apologetically at me. "Bella, I'm so sorry…" he trailed of. He stepped aside and my eyes flew to the figure on the ground.

It was a nightmare come true, Jacob's still figure in the grass, it felt like someone had ripped my heart out of my chest and punched me in the stomach all at once.

I ran over to him, and sat beside him tears running down my cheeks. I took his hand in mine, it was warm. I can't lose him, I thought, it won't happen, it can't happen.

"Come back to me Jake." I said and kissed his forehead, and then his soft lips. I put my ear against his chest, and I couldn't hear anything.

The wolves were in shock just like me, and as the smoke rolled higher in the air they just stood there staring at me and Jacob not knowing whether to move or to stand still.

The forest was quiet and I couldn't hear anything, but then there was a sound of a heart struggling to beat. I froze and listened harder. The beating got stronger and faster, I sat up taking Jacob's face in my hands. "That's right baby, come back to me." I kissed him again. "Please come back to me Jake." The wolves were on alert now and they all gathered around me and Jacob.

And then he opened his beautiful brown eyes and looked at me, he smiled and said. "Hi angel" then he looked straight up eyes wide and started to scream.


	7. Storm

**Storm**

The wolves laid him down carefully on the couch at Emily's place, Mike and the others had left a long time ago. He screamed from the pain and I sat down on the floor next to him and stroked his hair. I wished there was something I could do to help him, and every scream hurt me because I knew it meant that he was in agony. All the while the air outside was stirring and it seemed a storm was on the way.

Quil had called Sam, and just as the rain started to pour Sam and Emily walked through the door. They looked around the room with wide eyes, Embry, Jared, Paul and Quil were leaning against the wall of the living room, and I was still sitting by Jacob. No one said anything but then Paul spoke up. "Sorry we called Sam, but we didn't know what to do." He took a step towards them continuing. "It's not like we can take him to the doctor. And he's a little incoherent right now so we don't know where he's hurt."

"I'm glad you called." Sam said and walked up to Jacob. "Jake buddy, can you hear me, it's Sam. How are you doing?"

Jacob answered with another scream, and Sam looked at him with concern. "Well he's in a lot of pain, that's for sure. But I don't think there's anything we can do. Just wait until his accelerated healing makes him better I guess." His voice was calm and he seemed very untouched by the whole thing.

I look at Sam skeptically "We're going to do nothing?" I said angry. "But he's in pain, and we don't even know how badly he's hurt!"

"There's nothing we can do Bella, except ride out the storm and hope he's better in the morning." Sam said and then he continued. "I have to go call Billy."

Emily came over to me and put her arms around me, "It's going to be alright." Was all she said, and then she went into the kitchen to make us some coffee.

I took Jacob's hand and the tears rolled down my face, like the rain drops rolling down the window.

The night was very long, Jacob was in a great deal of pain and every scream made my chest ache in a horrible way. I just wanted the pain to be over, for Jacob sake, he shouldn't have to go through all of this, he deserved better.

One by one the wolves went home, and only Emily and Sam stayed. Which made sense since it was there house after all. Emily brought me coffee and then she and Sam went to sleep. Somewhere in the early morning the screaming stopped and both me and Jacob fell asleep. He on the couch, and me sitting on the floor with my head leaned against the armchair.

When I woke up I was strangely comfortable, I realized I was lying on the couch with a blanket draped over me. I immediately open my eyes and searched the room for Jacob. When I saw him I felt lighter, like a weight had been lifted of my heart. He was _standing_ by the window looking out at the storm. How could he be standing when just a few hours ago he'd been on the brink of death?

"Jacob!" I exclaimed astonished and ecstatic. I got up, and the blanket fell to the floor. "You're alive… I mean awake. You're awake, and walking."

I raced to him throwing my arms around him. I hugged him tight and put my ear to his chest. His heart was thumping stronger and louder than ever, as if it was proving that it was still beating. That's all I needed in this world, Jacob's heart strong, and beating. I hugged him even tighter.

"Ouch, Bella." He said, it was the first he'd spoken.

"Sorry" I let go of him, took a small step back and scanned him for injuries. "Where are you hurt?" I asked concerned.

"Nowhere and everywhere… I just need a little more time to heal that's all, and I'm a little sore. I should be fine in a couple of days."

I took his face in my hands, and looked at him with desperate eyes. "Jacob, I thought I'd lost you, when I saw you there in the grass, you're heart wasn't beating and I thought you'd left me."

I was incredibly relieved he was alive, but I could still feel the despair I'd felt when I put my ear against his chest and his heart wasn't beating. The tears started running. He wiped them away with his fingers and said, "I could never leave you, even if you wanted me gone. I will never leave you Isabella. You are my everything."

He smiled my favorite smile, and looked at me with boyish brown eyes. He took my face into his big warm hands and kissed me.

It was a deep passionate kiss, and I could feel it in my entire body. I put my arms around his neck and tangled my fingers into his hair. He put his arms around my waist and I wanted to kiss him forever, never move, or sleep, just stand here with Jacob heat between us and his heart beating next to mine.

However this was not our house, and Sam and Billy came in through the door. "Well hello Jacob." Sam said loudly. "I see you're feeling a lot better."

We broke the kiss, and there was an awkward feeling in the air as I turned to look at both of them. "Good morning Bella." Billy greeted me and I mumble a response.

"How are you feeling son?" Billy asked Jacob with fatherly concern in his voice.

"Better than yesterday at least." He responded. "Bella said my heart stopped beating, is that true?" He looked at Sam now.

"The guys said that they found you on the ground in human form just as Victoria was about to finish you of. They killed her easily and then they morphed to help you. But you didn't have a pulse and they all thought you were gone. That's when Bella came to the scene, and she couldn't hear your heart either. But then it just started beating again." He looked puzzled.

So did Jacob, "How am I alive then?" Jacob asked.

"I don't know." Sam answered honestly. "My theory is that your injuries were extensive enough to stop your heart. But your accelerated healing mended your heart so it could start beating again."

"It seems a bit unlikely." Jacob said incredulous.

"It's all I got." Sam told him. "I don't know what else could have happened to make it start beating again."

"I suppose so, but it seems improbable. Maybe…" Jacob pondered.

"I'm just glad you're okay son." Billy said and Jacob woke up out of his daydreaming.

He smiled at his father, and then Sam said lightly "I'm just glad Victoria is gone."

That's right I thought, 'Victoria was gone'. Dead and gone, and she would never pose a threat to the people I loved again. Another weight was lifted off me when I realized what this meant. There would be no more guard duty, no more planning how to get her, and most of all, no more fear.

"Yes, finally." Jacob agreed.

Then something started buzzing, and Sam looked over to the table where my phone lay. "You're phone has been buzzing none stop." Sam complained. "At one point I thought about throwing it out into the rain. It kept me up all night, and it's been driving me crazy all day."

'Oh, no.' I thought. I walked up to my phone and looked at the display. And surely, it said 'Charlie'. "No,no,no." I exhaled. "I have to go. I can't believe I forgot to call Ch.. dad. "

I looked at Jacob. "I'll come to see you right after I've been home, if I'm not grounded for life, or dead." I kissed him and ran out the door. I stopped on the porch as I remembered I didn't have a car here,

I ran back in. the others were already in the hallway. "I'm driving Jacob and Billy home." Sam said. "I'll take you home too."

I took a breath to calm myself. "Thank you Sam." I exhaled.

"Bella?" Charlie yelled as I walked through the door. He walked into the hall from the kitchen with a stern look on his face.

"Yes dad, it's me." I said just as he appeared in the doorway.

"Where have you been!" He shouted with parental authority. "I've been worried sick Isabella, I've called you about a hundred times, why didn't you pick up?" He crossed his arms and stared at me.

"I'm sorry, I had my phone on silent. I fell asleep at Emily's after the party, and I just woke up." The truth, in a way, so I don't think Charlie noticed anything false in voice. Then I added "You told me to stay out late…"

"That is not what I meant by late!" He wasn't that angry any more, I could tell. Now that I was home safe and sound, he didn't have to worry anymore and his anger from the past day had subsided.

"I know, and I'm really sorry. I should have called, but there was so much going on I didn't remember." I looked at him remorsefully when I saw how worried he must have been.

"It's okay, for this time." He began. "But if it ever happens again you are grounded for life."

'Wow' I thought. No punishment, that was generous of Charlie. I was sure I would be on house arrest for at least a month.

Then his expression changed, and he grew serious. "I have to tell you something though. Shall we sit?" He motioned toward the living room.

What was this? He wanted to talk, this couldn't be good, and I had a strange feeling that a storm was about to come. But the last storm had just passed, Victoria was gone, and everything was sunny again, except the actual weather. The rain was still pouring outside, and the wind was swaying the treetops, it gave me a bad feeling. I didn't want to know what he was going to say, but I felt I had to. "I'd rather stand." I said with clenched teeth. "What is it that you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Well… I don't know if I should even be telling you this, because you've been doing so well with everything but I feel like I have to anyway. If I were you, I'd want to know." He stopped collecting his thoughts. "You see…." He paused as if he wasn't sure how to begin.

"Just out with it, dad." I said impatiently.

"Alice… came by earlier this afternoon… she was asking for you, or really not for you, but about you." He hesitated with every word and tried to see my reaction to every syllable he said.

I was frozen and I didn't know what to say. Charlie's expression changed from hesitant to worried to angry. "I shouldn't have told you." He stated. "I've just hurt you all over again."

And surely the hole in my chest was throbbing and aching, but I was glad he'd told me because I wanted to know. I still hadn't said anything and Charlie was watching me. He was searching for something in my eyes, probably expecting the zombie to return, or maybe a mental breakdown.

"I'm glad you told me." I finally said. "Are they back?" I asked my tone flat showing no emotion, I needed the facts before I knew how I was going to react to the news.

"I... don't think so. She said they were visiting and staying at their old place. Mostly she asked how you were, and where you were."

"And what did you say?" I asked afraid that Charlie had mentioned Jacob.

"I said you were out celebrating graduation with your friends and I had been expecting you back a while ago but that you were probably still there. She actually seemed a bit down and she didn't ask anything else."

I exhaled in relief that he hadn't told her about my friends in La Push. I wasn't exactly sure why I didn't want her to know about Jacob, I just knew I didn't want her to.

I turned for the door and Charlie asked desperately, "Where are you going?" I turned to him with my hand on the doorknob. He was looking at me worried and I knew this must be hard for him so I quickly said. "To Jacob's house, I need to see him." I didn't wait for a response I just turned to the door and walked into the night.

It began to rain harder as I got into the truck and I turned the heat up in the car because I hadn't brought a jacket in my hurry to get away from Charlie and the entire situation. I wasn't sure how to feel about everything, the Cullens were visiting and Alice had come by to ask about me. _He _hadn't come to see me, but he was here, in Forks, everything that had happened on my birthday and the days after that suddenly seemed very recent. Every memory, every moment, and the heartbreak seemed like yesterday and the hole that Jake had almost healed started to ache again.

I wanted to see him so badly. To see him with my own eyes, to touch him, and smell him… but I knew he didn't want to see me, if he did he would have come by the house. My chest ached and the tears were running down my cheeks again. I'd been crying often these last few days. From happiness at graduation, in fear when Jacob was hurt, and now I was crying over a man who didn't even love me. I was suddenly angry, what right did he have to come back to Forks now, when I'd finally began to feel okay without him.

I fought with my emotions while I drove down to La Push, one thing I knew for sure was that the Cullens being here wouldn't change my relationship with Jake, and when they left everything would go back to normal.

I parked next to Jake's house and I ran through the rain to his small porch. The lights were on inside and I walked in. "It's me." I yelled into the house, sure that wherever they were, both Jacob and Billy would hear me in the small house.

Billy rolled into the hallway. "Hello Bella." He greeted me. "Jacob is resting in his room but you can go see him if you want to." He smiled and I noticed how kind he looked although he was a big man how could be scary if he wanted to.

"Thank you." I smiled and him and hurried into Jacob's tiny room.

He was draped across his bed feet sticking out, and he was snoring. I sat down on a chair next to bed and watch his peaceful expression as he slept. This made me feel better, but the aching in my chest was still there, as was the aching to see _him_. I gently pushed Jacob out of the way and lay down next to him waiting for him to wake up.

"Bella?" Jacob's voice was soft and low. "Are you awake?" I must have fallen asleep.

I stirred and a dream was slipping away as I woke. "No." I said and turned so we were face to face. He smiled and he looked so young when he smiled like that, my favorite smile. I smiled back, but my smile faded fast because I knew what I had to tell him now. He saw my mood change immediately and asked. "What's wrong?" He pulled his eyebrows together in a worried frown.

I knew I had to tell him about the Cullens, because he was alpha of the wolf pack, but also because I couldn't keep anything from him, and I wanted to talk to my best friend about this. So I said, "They're back, or just visiting, or I don't know, but they're staying at their old house." He knew what I meant at once, he always knew what I was thinking. "And how do you feel about that?" He asked with his teeth clenched.

I could see this was hard for him, discussing Edward with me because of our history and the history between the Blacks and the Cullens.

"I don't know." I said honestly. "I just want them to go away I think, so we can go back to living our lives together, you and I."

This seemed to give him some relief, and he hugged me tight. "It'll be okay Bella. I know how much this must hurt you, but you know I'm here for you, whatever you need."

His words warmed my heart but I knew what I needed. "I think I need to be alone." I said, concentrating to make the words credible. "I think I'll take the bike out." I stood up and Jacob sat up in the bed reaching for me. "Wait Bella, you can't drive know, the rain is pouring and it's going to be dark soon." His eyebrows were pulled together again.

"I'll be fine." I said and gave him a weak smile before I walked out into the rain towards the garage.

As I drove the rain whipped me in the face and I was shivering in the cold without my jacket. I'd left my truck at the Blacks', and I was speeding down a narrow path through the trees pushing my bike to its limit. The forest that surrounded the road was dark and quiet, and there were no animals in sight.

Then I saw the house and it was like nothing had changed, everything seemed the same as it'd been. I parked the bike outside and went up the porch steps to ring the doorbell. I heard footsteps, the door opened and there stood Alice Cullen.


	8. Torn

**Torn**

I probably resembled a drowned cat standing out in the rain like I did, and Alice froze as she saw my face. Seconds ticked by and neither she nor I said anything, surprised to see each other.

She looked just the same as I remembered her, with spiky black hair, and she was unsurprisingly dressed in an outfit that looked like it suited the runway. I tried to peek in through the door to see if the others were there but there was no one in sight. The grand piano stood where it always had, and there was no sign in the house that the family had been gone for several months. Everything looked the same, no sheets over the furniture, no dust, nothing.

I looked back at Alice who was staring at me with a baffled expression. Suddenly she broke the silence and yelled in her high musical voice, "You're alive, Bella!" And she threw her arms around me.

I was surprised to have her in my arms but I hugged her back, she was my sister in so many ways and I had missed her terribly. Still, this seemed a strange reaction, of course I was alive. But as I looked into the house I saw four white figures who flashed into sight at her words. They were all wide eyed, like they too were surprised to see me breathing. But my eyes didn't stay long at these people who I'd once considered my family. They flew to a fifth person stepping into the room.

His face was more beautiful than I remembered and my heart took flight, every feature in his smooth face was beautiful. But he had rings under his eyes which were black from thirst and he looked miserable. This wasn't right I thought, and I pulled my brows together searching his eyes for the cause of his misery.

When our eyes met he lit up and was just as shocked as the rest of them. Alice let me go and danced over to stand next to Jasper, Esme, Carlisle, and Emmett who were all standing by the stairs looking at me with warmth. But my eyes were locked on Edward, and he was standing still, but a smile was spreading on his lips.

I couldn't figure out what was going on, and what events would set off this reaction in them to my presence here. All I knew in this moment was that the months apart meant nothing to me, and the love I felt for Edward had not weakened. It filled me with adoration, standing here with him right in front of me, seeing as that wonderful crooked smiled spread across his magnificently beautiful face.

Although Edward couldn't read my mind he could read Jasper's, and Jasper must have felt the love and desire rolling of me in waves as I looked into Edward's topaz eyes. Edward's eyes were on me, but for a second they strayed to Jasper, and my worries were confirmed.

This was embarrassing, I thought. Coming back here after he'd made it very clear that he didn't want me in his life, and now standing here in the doorway with his entire family(minus Rosalie) staring at me like I was a ghost.

"I shouldn't have come." I stuttered and I started to turn for the door.

"Wait…" It was the voice of an angel who made me stop and turn back, and he was looking at me as if I was going to disappear at any second. His voice made my heart race and I knew every vampire in the room could hear it, it was humiliating.

He stared at me with sadness in his eyes, and then he was a blur and suddenly he was standing right in front of me. I froze and he lifted his hands to take a strand of wet hair lightly between his fingers and tuck it behind my ear. There was no sound in the room except my heart beating, and I couldn't move. I was on fire from his touch and I wanted so badly to reach out and touch his face, to ensure that he really was here and that it wasn't a dream.

He gazed into my eyes and whispered with a smile. "You're alive."

Then he kissed me, it was sudden and passionate, and it took me by surprise. My response was automatic, not a choice, or even a want, it was need. My whole body was on fire and I pressed myself to him, feeling his cold body against mine, with my arms around his neck. I wasn't aware of his family standing there or the rain coming through the open door, all that existed was Edward. It felt like I was coming up to breathe after being under water for a long time, and I twinned my fingers into his hair.

Suddenly I was aware of another existent, Jacob… I froze and put my hands on his shoulders and shoved. He was a million times stronger than me so it wouldn't have work, but he felt the change in my mood and let me push him away. "Stop!" I exclaimed.

He stared, surprised, at my face and I didn't know what he saw there because my mind was spinning, thoughts going around in circles. He looked worried and tried to take a step towards me. I put my hands up. "No." I simply said. "No"

Alice and the others were watching me try to collect my thoughts while panting, a little lightheaded from the kiss.

"I love you." Edward whispered.

"No!" I yelled. They all jumped at the sound. "No, you don't." I stated, and then continued. "You told me you didn't love me, that you were leaving and never coming back. That it would be like you never existed." My voice broke on the last words, I was trying to understand what was happening but nothing made sense. What was his? Why were they back, and what was the kiss about?

"Don't you see Bella, I was lying. I knew I had to leave to give you a better life and it killed me that you believed me so easily, how could I ever stop loving you. I convinced myself to stay away but every minute apart was agony." His looked at the floor somber.

I couldn't believe it, everything I'd believed to be true hadn't been. My whole existence for the last couple of months had been based on a lied.

I was suddenly angry and I shook my head "What?" I said really upset now. I thought about what I'd said to Jacob about forgiving Edward, but that was when I'd thought he'd left me because he didn't want to be with me anymore. But he did want to be with me, he just thought I would be better off without him, but that wasn't his decision to make. "You lied?" I said furious.

"I'm sorry Bella." He pleaded. "But I thought it was for the best, and I knew if I could just stay away you would be able to lead a normal, safe and happy life."

"SAFE? NORMAL? Happy..?" I yelled thinking of all the times I'd tucked my arms around myself to not fall apart from the pain and misery, then there were the werewolves and Victoria. As I thought of the pain, I suddenly realized that the hole in my chest that had been tormenting me for months was now completely gone. Standing here with Edward close enough to touch I didn't feel it anymore. Not like it was healed but as if there hadn't been a hole there in the first place. All that pain for nothing I thought, how could he hurt me like that? But another pain was making itself known, the pain of having my heart torn apart by the love for two men. A love that was bigger than life itself.

"My life has been everything but happy, normal and safe!" I was so angry, but then something occurred to me, he had come back.

"Why didn't you then?" I challenged. "Stay away, I mean. If you thought it was for the best." After all he had come back, and although I wanted to believe that it was because he couldn't live another second without me, I felt like there was something else going on.

"Well…" He said, hesitant to answer. This seemed odd to me, why would he be unsure.

After exchanging a long look with both Alice and Carlisle he finally continued. "Alice had a vision. I guess it didn't come true or maybe she saw it wrong, but she saw you in the woods with Victoria, and Victoria was launching to kill you." He shivered at this image, and then he continued. "We all thought you died, and that Victoria had killed you." He swallowed hard, this hadn't been easy for him, I could see it in his face.

I then remember a conversation he and I had had about what he would do if I died and so I took his pause as an opportunity to speak. "Why did you come here then? Why didn't you go to Italy?" I was grateful for his decision to come here instead of going to the Volturi to have himself killed. But I still wanted to know because I couldn't bring myself to believe that he really did love me after spending moths thinking he didn't even care about me anymore.

He was surprised at my question, probably thinking I wouldn't remember what he'd said that night. "I wanted to." He admitted. "But Alice and the others wouldn't let me, so they convinced me to come back here instead. Alice wanted to come back to help Charlie with the arrangements." His eyes were on the floor.

Well at least it explained why Alice had gone to see Charlie, but not why she hadn't seen Jacob save me.

"We should probably stay here a while to take care of Victoria for you, so she doesn't come here and poses a threat to you or Charlie." Edward said, and then continued. "We can't let anything happen to you or Charlie because of us."

He seemed determined and it was clear that none of them knew that Victoria had been tormenting me and the city for months now.

I started to laugh, and they all looked at me like I'd gone insane, and I had. "You want to stay and protect me from Victoria." I laughed. "You're just a few months too late, and you shouldn't bother, she's gone now."

"What do you mean? How?" Alice asked, and they were all looking at me with puzzled expressions. I wished I hadn't said that, I didn't want to explain about Jacob and the wolves, but now I knew I had to. I was feeling a little smug though that Edward had left me to keep me safe and I'd started hanging out with werewolves. There was a small part of me who wanted him to know that, but mostly I didn't want to explain. There was also the matter of my heart being torn apart as we spoke, I couldn't explain to the love of my life about the other love of my life.

"It's not important." I began. "She's gone now and that's all that matters." I knew it wouldn't help, they would press the information out of me, but still I hoped they would let it go.

"It is important! What do you mean she's gone, how is that possible?" It was Edward who asked, and hearing his angel voice filled me with such love, but at the same time rage surged through me and the two emotions were overpowering me and I couldn't move or speak. Edward looked at me with a perplexed expression, I knew Jasper was picking up on my emotions and Edward was listening in.

I tried to gather myself and took a deep breath. It was then I realize I was still standing in the doorway, rain coming in through the open door.

Without saying anything I walked in through the door closing it behind me. I looked around and went to sit at the stool beside the grand piano, where I'd sat when Edward had played me my lullaby the day I'd come here for the first time.

The others followed but kept their distance, it was only Edward who followed me all the way and he stood in front of the piano with his arms crossed.

"Explain." He said plainly, but his voice was still so beautiful.

I looked down at the piano keys touching them lightly with my fingers trying to find a good place to start. I didn't want Edward to know about me and Jacob, because finding out today that he'd left me to protect me and still loved me, I strangely felt like I had cheated on him by being with Jacob. And also I didn't know if Jacob would be okay with me talking about the pack with vampires. I also felt that if I didn't tell him, I was cheating Jacob. Then I felt an obligation to Edward to tell him there were werewolves in Forks again. This made me confused at where my responsibilities lay, and I was unsure how to start. After thinking for a long time, and many looks from Edward telling me to speed up, I eventually decided to tell them about the wolves but not about Jacob's and my relationship.

"Well…" I finally said, looking at Edward. "A while after you left I was feeling… down. Then I started hanging out with an old childhood friend. He was… nice, and he became my best friend. Then I went out to our meadow one day and I ran into Laurent…" They all stared wide eyed at me now, but Edward had a pained expression probably trying to picture me and Laurent in that meadow. "He was hungry and would have killed me if they hadn't come to my rescue." I hurried along so they couldn't ask who they were. "Then Victoria came here wanting to revenge Laurent's and James' death. She would have found me and killed me right away if not for them keeping guard. But at graduation they let their guard down and I was drunk so I wandered off into the woods. Victoria was there ready to pounce. This was probably the scene Alice saw in her vision, but I don't understand why she didn't see them save me." I stopped abruptly. I had told them everything except for who _they _were, and I knew what the follow up question would be.

"Who…" Edward started but Emmett interrupted him with a laugh. "You were drunk Bella?" He laughed. Edward looked at him sternly, but I smiled, I'd forgotten how much I liked Emmett. "Not really the point Emmett." Edward said, and then he continued. "Who are _they_ Bella?"

I sighed, might as well tell them and get it over with. "Jacob Black, Sam Uley, Quil Ateara, Embry Call, Paul Lahote, and Jared Cameron." I said slowly watching every name sink in. Most of them had been here to make the treaty with their great grandfathers, so I knew it was only a matter of time before one of them made the connection.

Edward was first, or maybe he'd read it in someone else's mind.

"WEREWOLVES?" He yelled, and in that second Jacob walked through the door.


	9. Decision

**Decision **

"That's right." Jacob said as he closed the door behind him. "Werewolves."

The Cullens just stared at him like he was a ghost from a distant past, which was partly true.

I was surprised to see him and my heart broke into two pieces. "Jacob." I exhaled.

"Hi Bella." He smiled strangely relaxed.

"How did you know..." I started, but he cut me off. "You forget how well I know you Bella, and also how bad of a liar you are. Of course you would come here, and I had to make sure you were okay."

"Okay?" I asked incredulous. How could I possibly be okay? My head was spinning, and my heart was being torn apart as we spoke.

"Well, maybe not okay. But physically fine." He added.

"Well, I'm not going to hurt her." Edward said appalled.

Jacob's eyes narrowed. "More than you already have, you mean." He said in a superior voice.

"Don't you start with me dog!" Edward growled and then he started walking towards Jake, but then suddenly he stopped and his expression changed. His eyes went blank, and he looked miserable.

His pain cut me like a knife, and I looked over to Jacob, trying to find a source for Edward's agony. Jake was looking intently at Edward with a concentrated expression, and right away I knew what was going on.

"Stop it Jake!" I half-yelled at him. He broke his concentration and looked over to me. Edward's expression lightened, but he still looked incredibly sad.

"What's going on?" Alice asked confounded.

"Nothing, I was just showing Edward Bella's condition after he abandoned her." Jacob said calmly.

He'd obviously showed Edward my zombie months, seen from his mind. I didn't want Jacob to show him that. Because it would hurt Edward, obviously, but also because I felt embarrassed about how weak I had been.

"Stop it!" I told Jacob again, as I saw him concentrate once more.

He looked over at med. "He should know how he hurt you Bella?" He half yelled in exasperation. I flinched, surprised by his anger and Edward step closer to me and put his arm around my waist.

"Don't yell at her!" He snarled at Jacob, but I didn't listen to his words. I was concentrated on the tingling feeling I felt where his arm touched me. It was preposterous that after all this time the simplest touch from him would make me react this way, my heart speeding up.

Jake's rough response to Edward's actions sent me back to focus. "Don't you _touch_ her!" He screamed, and walked towards us.

Edward's family was standing by watching them intently, ready to intervene if the situation required it.

Edward let me go and faced Jacob. They were standing inches apart, glaring at each other. Jacob was shaking furiously, and I knew if he didn't calm down right now he would morph and they'd most likely kill one another.

I came up to them and touched Jacob's arm lightly, "You need to calm down Jake." I soothed.

"Back up Bella!" Edward said, not taking his eyes of Jacob. "He's going to turn, and you need to be out of harm's way."

"_I _can control myself." Jacob growled through his teeth.

"Calm down Jake." I pleaded, but Edward shoved me away and said once more, "Back up Bella!"

I was furious now. How much experience had he handling with an angry werewolf, or an angry Jacob? Probably none and I had plenty. I took a step forward and "shoved" Edward out of the way. "You back up! I've got this!" I snarled.

He was shocked and took a confusing step back as I stood in front of Jacob taking his face in my hands. He was shaking bad, and I knew I had to act fast if I wanted him to stay human any longer.

"Look at my face." I told him forcing his eyes to focus on me. When he had, I continued, "Now, remember Emily's face." His expression twisted and the shaking lessened, but he was still shaking badly. Despite the surroundings I pulled my face closer and whispered, although I knew they would hear, "Calm down Jacob, I love you. Remember that." Then I pulled even closer and kissed him lightly on his warm lips. He stopped shaking and I pulled away, taking a step back.

"Better?" I asked.

"Better. Thank you." He said in a steady voice.

None of the vampires had moved an inch, and they were all statues staring at me and Jacob. I looked at Edward's face last and regretted it immediately. His expression was a mixture of hurt, loss, and betrayal and I felt a new hole tearing in my chest, guilt.

"Edward I…" I started, but what could I say? No matter if he'd been right or not, he'd left me out of love and missed me every second we were apart. All the while I had fallen in love with someone else.

But my guilt receded at his next actions, his expression changed from hurt to anger and suddenly he was yelling at me. "Are you stupid Bella? Werewolves are dangerous beings. They don't have any control, as Jacob just proved. You don't have to be with me, but I forbid you to be with him!"

All the guilt was gone and in its place anger made an appearance. "You forbid me? Who do you think you are, my father? You can't forbid me from anything. You gave up that right the day in the woods after my birthday." The anger couldn't completely conceal how my voice broke on the last sentence.

The tears started running and everything just felt so complicated. One part of me just wanted to tell Edward to go back to wherever he'd been these past months, and then leave this house with Jacob.

Then there was another part who wanted to tell Jacob to leave and throw myself in Edward's arms. The two parts were fighting furiously and all I could do was stand there with silent tears running down my cheeks.

Jacob walked up to me and started dragging me towards the door, "Let's get you home." He said. "Charlie must be worried." In my trance I let him walk me to the door, but Edward was there blocking the exit.

"I can take her." He said arms crossed.

"That won't be necessary." Jacob hissed back.

"She is _mine_." Edward growled.

"Not anymore." Jacob said in a superior voice.

My tears stopped running and I took a step away from Jake. This was unbelievable, they were arguing like children in a sandbox, and even more ludicrous was that they were talking about me like I was a possession they could own.

"I'm my own." I stated. "Now Jacob, could you go home, I need to talk to Edward alone." I didn't know what I wanted to say to him, but I knew I needed to talk to him.

"You should go." Edward said smug, when Jacob hesitated.

"Are you sure Bella?" Jacob asked hesitant, his expression was put together but I could see the pain in his eyes. All the times he had saved me from falling apart over Edward, he'd watched me love another man all this time and still he had always been there, comforting me, saving me, and I had never really appreciated everything he was to me.

"I just need to talk to him, I will come see you later… I can't explain now I just…"

He took my face in his hands and kissed my forehead and silently walked out the door. He had always been too good for me, better than I deserved.

"Let's talk." I told Edward, and headed for the stairs where his family had disappeared. He followed me silently to his room, and I closed the door behind us. I knew his family could hear us anyway, but it still seemed more private that way.

The room looked exactly as I remembered, except that the countless numbers of CD's and books were gone.

I pointed to the empty shelves and asked, "Where?"

"The music." He said, and touched the empty surface with his fingertips. "I brought it with me. It's in boxes in the garage."

"Where did you move?" I asked. "I assumed it wasn't Los Angeles." As had been the story the Cullens had told the rest of Forks, but I knew they wouldn't go anywhere that sunny.

He chuckled glum, "Well no. We went to New York, Carlisle worked at a hospital there, and we enrolled as freshman at Columbia. Even though it meant we couldn't stay as long, none of us wanted to go High School again."

"Right…" I stood by the window and looked out at the darkening sky. I was trying to imagine him in New York, walking around campus at Columbia, but I couldn't.

I closed my eyes and it felt like I could open them and be back at Emily's house laughing with my werewolf family, or I would open them and be at my birthday party with my vampire family.

I opened them and all I saw was my own reflection in the window, eyes red from crying and lack of sleep.

Edward came up behind me, I saw his angel-like perfection next to my ordinary face and I had to look away, so I turned to face him.

"Why? Why did you leave me?" The tears were running again.

"I told you. To protect you." He explained.

"No, that wasn't protecting me! So why?" I needed to understand.

He sighed and the pain on his face reflected mine. "I kept telling you that if I really loved you, I wouldn't be with you. That I was selfish in even considering a life with you because you couldn't have a normal happy human life with me. Then I realized that saying that I shouldn't be with you and saying that it was selfish to stay, just wasn't enough. So I left… because I loved you enough to want the best for you."

"But it wasn't the best for me." He had to have known that I would never let him go.

"I realize that now, and if you could just forgive me we could be together again, like before." He said intently.

I just shook my head and stared at the floor, I couldn't assemble my thoughts enough to say anything.

"You don't forgive me." He almost whispered.

"No, I already forgave you." I said monotone.

"Well that's great." He smiled, and his beauty was out of this world.

"Is it?" I asked dejected, and his smiled vanished. "Is it really? Don't you see? I would forgive you anything. But maybe that's the problem, because you have this power over me, I can't live without you and I would forgive you anything no matter what." My tears had run dry now and I watched as my words sunk in.

"What are you saying?" He asked. "You don't want to be with me."

"No. I'm saying the opposite. I want to be with you too much. So maybe I shouldn't be with you."

"Is this about him? The dog. Do you want to be with him?" There was a petty jealous edge to his voice that I hated.

"Don't talk about him like that! He's my best friend Edward. He's been there for me these past few months when you weren't and he's saved my life numerous times."

"Don't you think I know that?" He exclaimed. "Don't you think I wish I could've been the one to save you, and be there for you? I've never regretted anything as much as I regret leaving you." The pain was clear in his words.

"I get that you regret it, but that doesn't make up for all the nightmares, and the heartbreak. It just makes it worse because you really did love me so it was all for nothing." I yelled.  
>We were facing each other, and we were both breathing hard. His scent was everywhere and all I wanted to do was throw myself into his arms.<p>

"I have to go." I said suddenly, and turned for the door. I had gotten the answers I needed from him, but not from myself and I knew that if I wanted to have any chance of figuring this out I needed to be away from the influence his presence had on me.

"Stay." He said and took my hand. "Stay with me, you don't have to go." His eyes were pleading.

"Yes, I do. Don't follow me, I need time to think." I pulled away.

"Wait, just wait." He pleaded, but I was already out the door.

I heard him drop to his knees, and he was crying, I ran away from his pain and mine. I ran for the exit but at the end of the stairs I ran into Esme.

She caught me in her arms and said, "We shouldn't have left. I tried to convince the others to stay. I didn't want you to get hurt."

There was so much love in her words and I thought I would start crying again. I couldn't say anything so I just hugged her and ran outside. I got on my bike and started driving.

I was driving faster than I ever had, trying to keep my thoughts from catching up with me, I almost made it all the way to my house but then I realized I didn't want to be alone when my thoughts finally caught up with me, so I ended up outside of Emily's house.

It seemed like years ago, the graduation party, the feeling of being happy and young. I saw Emily's surprised face in the window and she came out to the porch to greet me.

I ran up the steps and fell into her arms with sobs escaping my throat and tears running down my cheeks.

She let me cry myself out, and when the tears finally stopped running we were sitting on the couch in their small living room. The same couch where Jacob had been fighting for his life just hours ago, it all felt so distant now.

My eyes were red and my head was pounding from crying, but I still felt better. I looked to Emily and said, "Thank you for being here."

She smiled at me, "What are friends for?" Then she gave me a quick wink before settling into a more serious tone, "Do you want to tell me what's wrong?" She pulled her eyebrows together in a worried frown.

For a moment I paused, I didn't know if she'd understand my feelings for Edward or if she'd judge the Cullens or held a grudge against them because they were vampires. It dawned on me that although Emily and I were best friends and talked about everything, I had never told her about my feelings for Edward or the Cullens, and she had never brought it up.

Therefore I decided to tell her everything, starting from the moment I moved to Forks.

She sat silently and listened as I explained how I met Edward, and how he'd saved me from James. Then I spoke about my birthday party and the day in the woods. Then I told her about my zombie months, and becoming friends with Jacob, and then about our first kiss. I told her how the Cullens were back and about my talk with Edward.

I felt better saying everything out loud, all the hurt and love and loss. It was extremely liberating telling the story without editing anything out, and being completely honest.

Emily didn't say anything, she just listened. When I was done she simply said, "Seems like you have a decision to make."

I nodded looking at the floor.

"But, if you're being honest with yourself, don't you already know?" She asked with implication in her voice.

"What do you mean?" I was perplexed, I loved them both so much and she made it sound like it wasn't a difficult decision.

"Well, maybe not…" She said and looked out the window, and then back at me with a sigh. "It's getting late, you should go home. Charlie must be worried." She said and then added, "Bella, this is a decision you must make on your own."

I looked out the window and saw that the sky was dark. "I suppose you're right." I had put Charlie through a lot the past 48 hours, and it was time to go home now.

I stood up and hugged her goodbye before I walked out to my bike.

I drove the bike to Jake's house and traded it for my truck. I couldn't come home to Charlie on a motorcycle, so even though I wasn't ready to see him I had to get my truck. I could see that the light was on in his room but he didn't come outside and I didn't go inside. I needed more time to think before I faced him and my feelings, so I just drove off.

When I drove up to the house I could see Charlie peek out through the window, and he was in the hallway when I walked through the door.

He didn't say anything as I took my shoes off, he just stared at me scrutinizing my every move.

I faced him and said, "Hello." He just said hi back, and then went back to staring. So I walked into the kitchen to grab a glass of water, and he followed.

I took a glass from the cabinet, and filled it, and then I leaned against the sink and took a sip. He was still watching, and my patience was out.

"What?" I asked exasperated.

"Nothing." He said innocently. "Where were you?" He then asked calmly.

"I went to Jacob, then the Cullens, and then I visited Emily." I said matter-of-factly.

"Oh… and how are you feeling?" Charlie asked just as innocently as before.

"I'm fine dad!" I said not tiptoeing around it anymore. "I saw… Edward, he was there. They are staying… I think." Even now it was difficult to say his name out loud.

"Okay." He said and then he went back to the living room to watch the game. We had never been good at talking about feelings and this had been no exception. But he seemed to accept that I was fine even though I'd seen _him_ today.

"I'm just going to go to bed." I yelled to him as I made my way up the stairs.

I fell into my bed fully clothed, and pulled the covers over my head trying to think of nothing.

It didn't work of course, there were a million thoughts rushing through my head. I relived everything from the past year, every feeling and every word spoken.

Meeting Edward, finding out he was a vampire, loving Edward, losing Edward, the numbness, becoming friends with Jake, loving Jake. Time flew by and it was almost dawn when my emotional journey ended with my talk with Edward last night.

Still, I was none the wiser. I had to pick one, and whoever I didn't pick wouldn't be in my life in any way after I chose. I knew I couldn't live without Edward, and I didn't want to live without Jake.

I covered my head with the pillow and I wanted to scream but nothing came out. I had these two amazing men who loved me and still in this moment I felt unfortunate because I had to hurt one of them.

Jacob, my best friend who I could talk about anything with, he was kind, warm and wonderful.

Edward, my love who took my breath away and made everything matter, he was beautiful, strong and extraordinary.

Jacob, the werewolf.

Edward, the vampire.

I didn't know how to choose.

I heard Charlie drive off to work, and I pulled the pillow from my face and stared at the ceiling. The room felt small somehow, and I couldn't breathe. I got up, walked downstairs, pulled on my boots and went outside.

I stood there a while not sure where to go. I thought about driving somewhere but I wasn't up to sitting in a confined space, so I ended up in the woods wandering on the trail that lead from our backyard. The morning was chilly and the air was damp, but it wasn't raining.

I walked for a long time, I watched the animal scurry about, and listened to the leaves ruffling in the wind. I admired the magnificent tree trunks covered in moss, and the beautiful canopy of leaves above my head.

Suddenly I stopped, up ahead the path was splitting into two trails. As I stood choosing which way to go, Angela's graduation speech popped into my head. I couldn't escape it anymore; I had to choose which path to take in life, or more importantly, who I would walk it with.

I sat down right there on the soggy ground and stared at the two different tracks. Left or right? Edward or Jacob?

I tried to picture what my life would be with Jacob, we'd live here in Forks, maybe have a few kids, and then we'd grow old together in a small house in La Push surrounded by friends and family. I could see the house we would live in at the end of one of the trails, see our children running around on the grass.

I looked to the other trail and I saw my life with Edward. I would convince him, and he would turn me. Then we'd have forever together, moving from city to city living where there was overcast most of the time, repeating High School over and over.

Just as fast as they had appeared, the images vanished. I turned it over and over in my head but everything pointed to Jacob as the best option, he was my best friend, we'd grow old together here in Forks where my father lived, we'd have children and grandchildren, and we'd be happy and safe with each other. It would be an easy, comfortable life. But still it didn't seem completely right.

Emily's words popped into my head, "If you're being honest with yourself don't you already know?" it was then I saw it and I jumped to my feet. It was so obvious, and I had known all along. I just hadn't wanted to do what I knew I had to do now that my decision was made, because it meant hurting me and a person that I loved. I started walking back to the house more sure of this decision than I had been of anything in my life.


	10. Goodbye

**Goodbye**

I parked my truck next to the house and jumped out into the humid air. As I faced his house I knew that this was, without a doubt, the hardest thing I was ever going to have to do. I could feel a hole in my chest starting to tear at me just thinking of cutting him out of my life, but I was sure this was the right decision even though it pained me to think of it.

I saw movement in the house and a figure appeared in the front door. A smile spread across his face when he saw me and he started heading towards me. My heart broke thinking that this might be the last time I saw his wonderful smile.

When he saw my expression the smile vanished and he stopped abruptly.

"It's not me is it?" He asked in a serious, but sad voice. He had always been able to tell what I was thinking.

"It's not." I said with my head down, and then I continued urgently. "But I wish it was you, you don't know how much I wish it was you, Jacob."

"I wish that too Bella. When you came here so soon I thought that maybe you'd chosen me, but I guess I should have known it would always be him." Jake whispered so I almost couldn't hear.

We were standing maybe ten feet away from each other and I just wanted to close the distance and lose myself in his warm embrace. But I didn't move, for I felt that if I did that I wouldn't be able to let him go.

"I love you so much Jacob, more than you even know."

"But not enough, not more than you love him." The pain was clear in his words.

I didn't know what to say, I wanted to make everything better for him but I couldn't. So I just said, "I'm so sorry Jake."

"You're sorry! Is that supposed to help me? You're leaving me to be with a vampire but everything's okay, because you're sorry!" There were tears running down his cheeks now, and his angry tone didn't quite cover up the hurt in his voice.

My eyes filled with tears and I was surprised that I had any left seeing as I had cried constantly for the last three days.

His anger receded as quickly as it had flared up, and in its place I saw sadness in his eyes so deep I almost wished for the anger back. It was killing me seeing Jacob this way, and even worse was that I was the cause.

He looked at me with misery clear in his eyes and said, "I am the better choice you know. We would have grown old together, and I would've never hurt you the way he has."

"I know." I said looking at the ground. "Of course I know. Our life would've been a wonderful one."

"Then why?" He asked desperately. "Why choose him?"

"I love him Jake. In a way I don't even understand myself, I can't live without him." I couldn't tell him the whole story, because it had never really been a choice. From the second I saw Edward in his house, from the moment our lips met, I knew there would never be anyone else. It scared me of course, because Edward had the power to hurt me more than anyone else, but I knew it was worth it to be with him.

"I don't want you to disappear from my life now Jake." I said.

He laughed without humor. "We can still be friends, you mean? Seems a bit cliché, don't you think?"

"I'm serious Jacob."

"I know." He was glum again. "But I don't think that's possible. Taking aside the fact that you are leaving me for my archenemy, I don't know how to be friends with you when I feel this way about you…"

"It would be too hard." I finished his thought. He was right, of course he was right. Even if I had chosen Edward that didn't mean I had stopped loving Jacob, it took every bit of my willpower not to give in and just throw myself into his arms. Because of how we felt for each other maybe we couldn't be friends right away, but I wanted him as my friend. He was my best friend and he understood me better than anyone else.

"Maybe after some time has passed…" I started.

He looked longingly at the forest. "I don't know Bella… I think I might be going away for a while."

"What about Sam's and Emily's wedding. Aren't you going?" I asked.

He looked back at me and said, "I'll come back for that."

Something occurred to me. "Am I still invited to the wedding?" I asked unsure.

He sighed, "You're Emily's maid of honor Bella, of course you're still invited… I wouldn't bring a date though, or a fight might break out." He said bitterly.

"That's not funny Jake." I snapped at him. I really didn't like this side of him.

"It's not meant to be. I'm going now. I'll see you at the wedding." He turned for the woods.

"Wait Jake…" I reached out as if to keep him here.

He stopped and closed the distance between us in two long strides. I gasped at his sudden proximity and he took my face in his big warm hands. "I hope you find happiness, and if he hurts you again I will not be responsible for what I do to him. I will _never _love anyone like I love you Bella."

I put my hands around his neck and looked into his eyes. "I don't believe that Jake, you will find someone who deserves you like I never have. She will give you all of her heart like I never could, and you will be happy." I said it more for my own sake than for his but it seemed like it helped both of us.

"Maybe…" He said, but it seemed like he didn't quite believe it.

He bent down and put his forehead to mine, and we stood this way for a long time but not long enough. Too soon he pulled away, then before he left he kissed me softly, and he was gone.

"Goodbye." I whispered with a broken voice and heart.

He ran for the woods, with a large jump he phased in the air, and I saw a magnificent wolf disappear into the trees. As he left he took a surprisingly big part of me with him, I lost my breath and fell to my knees crying loudly.

It was a while before I was able to stand up, and I walked on shaky knees towards my truck.

I drove in a daze to the Cullen house, I was sure I would wrap my truck around a tree but somehow I managed the dwindling road that lead up to the house.

I opened the car door and a white figure flashed into sight at the top of the steps leading up to the house. I got out, slammed the door and faced him. He had an unreadable expression on his face.

When he saw me, his face changed and his features grew hard and stern, in less than a second he was standing two feet from me his face stiff.

I felt like I hadn't slept in days, which I then realized was actually true. I was confounded at his reaction, and it took me longer than it should have to figure out he must have thought the red eyes and miserable expression meant that I had chosen Jacob and was coming to tell him that.

"No," was all I managed to say.

"What do you mean no?" He asked guarded.

I started to cry and threw myself in his arms. He caught me surprised and stroked my hair. He was worried now, "What's wrong Bella?" He asked.

I looked up from his chest and said through the tears. "I choose you." That was all I could manage.

He smiled my crooked smile, and I managed a smile back. Then he scooped me up and carried me into the house and up the stairs to his room.

He lay me down on a bed and laid down next to me wrapping his arms protectively around me and let me cry.

In his arms the tears ran dry quickly, my head was pounding from the crying so I pressed my face to his cold chest and it helped. He didn't say anything, letting me mourn probably, but I decided to put Jacob out of my mind.

It was over, I had chosen and now it was time to enjoy the life I had chosen. There was always going to be a Jacob-shaped hole in my heart but I shouldn't let that stop me from living my life with Edward.

We were lying facing each other and I had my head and hands pressed to his perfect chest. I had missed him so much, more than words could say. I realized that I didn't have to miss him anymore. He was here and we were together.

A smile spread across my face and I pushed him over on his back and lay on top of him. I stared at his beautiful face, and realized my memory hadn't done him any justice. He was breathtaking and he was mine. I reached out and stroked his face lightly with my hands, ran my fingers through his hair. He just lay still watching my face with a smile on his lips, "Are you okay?" He asked.

"I am now." I sighed, content.

"Are you sure about this Bella?" He asked. "I've never seen you so miserable, are you sure I'm the right decision?"

"I was worse when you left, remember?" I said referring to what he'd seen in Jacob's memories of my zombie months.

His eyebrows creased. "But still? Are you sure?" He asked again.

"I've never been more certain of anything." I smiled, and he smiled back.

We lay there just staring into each other's eyes smiling, taking in the sweetness of the moment. "You have no idea how I've missed you." He said.

"Not as much as I missed you probably." I replied.

"I doubt it. I wanted to come back every second, but I really thought it was best for you if I stayed away. I'm so sorry Bella… I wish I…"

"Shh…" I hushed him and put my finger to his lips. "I forgive you." I didn't take my finger away instead I traced the contours of his lips. He lay still in a way only he could and let me run my fingers across his lips. Let me trace the line of his perfect nose, and the rings under his eyes which were not as prominent as the last time I'd seen him. His eyes were their normal topaz color too. I lost myself in those gorgeous eyes, and my heart started beating faster. Naturally he heard it and a low chuckle escaped from his throat.

"It's ridiculous what you do to me." I said.

"Not as ridiculous as what you do to me." He said and traced his hand up and down my back, leaving a trail of fire. My breathing became harder, and I couldn't concentrate on anything but his touch. His finger made their way up my back he took a strand of hair to play with.

As I lay there I realized we were lying in a bed, in his room. I looked around to see that the bookshelves were filled with music again and books lay strewn across the room. In the center of the room was a huge bed.

"The bed?" I asked puzzled.

He smiled and put the strand of hair behind my ear. "Alice thought I could use something to keep me occupied when you were deciding, so she took me shopping for a bed."

"Why a bed?" I wondered.

"Esme has been trying to convince me to get one for a while. She thinks the room looks better this way." He explained.

I looked around the room. "I think it looks ridiculous." I laughed.

"Well it has its advantageous." He said, gesturing to the way we were laying.

"I suppose we couldn't lie like this on a sofa." I agreed.

"No we couldn't." He snickered.

We were both in a giddy mood, and we lay there laughing quietly to ourselves a while. He went back to stroking his hand up and down my back, and I went back to concentrating on keeping my breathing even. I put my ear against his chest and took the moment in.

"I love you." He whispered and kissed the top of my head. The words sent warmth radiating from my heart.

I looked up at him with wanting in my eyes, and said. "I love you too."

He took my hips lightly and lifted me up like I weighed nothing more than a feather so we were face to face.

We were not even an inch away from each other, the tips of our noses almost touching. I breathed in his sweet scent and it made my head spin.

I moved closer slowly and took in the scent, as I did his breathing started to speed up. I moved even closer and let my lips touch his very lightly and then I pulled back half of an inch. He sighed loudly, showering my face with the delicious scent and then he twinned his fingers in my hair and kissed me fervently. My reaction was involuntary; I pressed myself closer to him and kissed him back with as much force as I could.

I expected him to push me back; as this broke the rules of intimacy he had carefully laid out to make sure I was safe, and alive. But he didn't, instead he grabbed me and rolled us over so he was on top of me instead. He held some of his weight up with his arms but I could still feel his cold perfect body pressing against mine. I was on fire as our lips moved together. I had my hands on his back and through his shirt I could feel the perfect lines of his lean muscles.

Then he did something I didn't expect, with a swift movement without breaking the kiss he unbuttoned his shirt and took it of throwing it to the floor. My hands were on his back immediately stroking his smooth skin, feeling the hard muscles just underneath it.

I didn't know how long this careless mood of his was going to last, but I planned to make the most of it. So I put my leg around his waist to push myself even closer to him and a small sigh escaped his throat.

I was almost sure he was going to stop us now but he didn't instead he rolled us back over so I was sitting on top of him with on leg on each side. He sat up with me and pushed my hair back and kissed my neck. I put my hands on his neck and weaved my fingers into his hair. He found my lips again and he placed his hands on my thighs keeping us intertwined as he turned us over and lay down on top of me again. He kept his hands on my thighs and ran them down to my knees and back up. He let go and found my hands and our fingers intertwined as our lips moved together.

I was nowhere near satisfied and I was still waiting for him to pull the breaks, but I let go of his hands and turned us over sitting across him again. My eager hands traced the lines on his perfectly muscled bare chest, our lips still pressed together. He pushed my shirt up a bit and placed his hands on the small of my back. It sent chills through my entire body having his cold smooth hands sited on my lower back.

Then suddenly, his hands where gone, and so was he. I looked disoriented around the room and found him standing across the room pressed up against the wall, breathing hard.

I was also breathless as I said, "Wow! That was…"

"Intense." He panted, finishing my thought.

"Yeah." I breathed.

"I shouldn't have… it was reckless of me Bella. I could've hurt you, or worse." He said, with a guilty tone.

"I don't know about you but for me, it was worth risking injury for." I giggled, I wasn't one for giggling but I was riding a strange high right now. I took in his beautiful state, as he stood there bare-chested and almost didn't hear what he said next.

"This is serious Bella." He was a bit calmer now and he walked back to the bed sitting on the very edge of the mattress.

I scooted close to him and sat on my knees behind him, I put my hands on his bare shoulders and felt the perfect silkiness of his skin as I ran them across him back.

"I know that." I said in a serious tone. "But, I think that maybe your rules are a bit too strict." I leaned in and kissed his shoulder and then his neck.

He sighed and turned his head finding my lips, and I put my hand on his cheek and kissed him back.

He broke the kiss with a low grunt of disapproval. "I'm thinking they might not be strict enough." He said and pushed me away creating space between us. "You have no idea the effect you have on me Bella Swan."

"Apparently, it's not a very strong effect." I sulked.

"On the contrary, it's too strong." He appeased. "I can't lose control with you Bella it's too dangerous, you understand that right?"

"I understand." I sighed. "But you could practice your self-control. Practice makes perfect." I teased, moving closer.

"I think I've had enough practice for today, don't you? We don't want to push our luck." His tone made it clear that he was now completely in control and wasn't going to lose it any time soon.

"Fine." I pouted. "Just lie with me then." I patted the spot on the bed next to me.

"Okay." He smiled, and then he picked up his shirt from the floor starting to put it on. I snatched it from his hands and threw it on the other side of the bed.

He chuckled and lay down on his back next to me, shirtless. I climbed on top of him and put my head on his chest tracing his collarbone with my finger.

"This is nice too, I suppose." I concurred.

He snickered and put his cold hands on my back, I shivered at the cold touch.

"Are you cold?" He asked concerned.

I thought about saying no, but another shiver went through me. "Maybe a little." I admitted.

"Here," He somehow pulled the cover from under us and lay it over me. "Better?" He asked.

"Much." I approved, warming up.

We were silent for a moment, I breathed in the scent radiating from him, and he played with my hair, deep in thought.

He took a deep breath and the he asked. "How did you decide?" It seemed like he wanted to know, but maybe was scared of what the answer might be.

I looked at his face and he was staring at the ceiling. "It was never really a decision, it was always you." I stated, and saw his lips curve up in a smile.

"Why didn't you just tell me that yesterday?" He asked.

"I didn't know yesterday." I explained. "I guess I was afraid because no matter what you did I would always choose you, no matter how you hurt me." I confessed.

His eyebrows pulled together. "I will never hurt you again." He said fervently. "I promise Bella, I will stay with you."

"Forever?" I asked, knowing he would hear the true meaning of my words; if he would stop insisting that I stay human and turn me.

"Forever is a very long time." He sighed.

"Yes. But never is longer." I simply said.

"True." His tone implied that the discussion was over, but I knew somehow I would be with him forever, even if I had to have Alice turn me herself.

We were silent again, and soon I fell asleep, perfectly content in his cold embrace.


	11. The End

**The End**

When I woke up I was disoriented, I opened my eyes and the room was dark. I wasn't exactly sure where I was, and a wonderful dream was slipping away from me.

"Are you awake?" Edward whispered.

I remembered where I was with a smile, and looked up to see his beautiful face.

"Good morning." He smiled, and then he continued. "Or should I say good night. You slept for a long time."

"Night?" I asked confused. "Is it late already?" I was thinking of Charlie coming home from work finding me gone. I put my arms around Edward and said, "I don't want to leave."

"Then don't." He said. "We don't have to be apart ever again."

I sighed with happiness, as I realized the truth in his words. But I still had to go home to Charlie. "I have to go home." I muttered.

"No I won't let you go." He said, and put his arms around me holding me close to him.

"Charlie is probably worried. I have barely been home in the last three days." I explained, and tried to free myself from his grip. But he held me tight with his strong arms and there was no way I would be able to wiggle out.

"Edward…" I said with false irritation.

"No." He said like an obstinate child. "I'm keeping you right here with me."

"There's nothing I want more than to just stay here with you but I have to go now." I said.

"No." He said again.

"Then come with me." I suggested.

He considered it a while. "Okay." He agreed and let his grip go.

I took his hand and pulled us out of the bed, I opened the door and there stood Alice.

"Hi, Bella. I knew you would choose Edward. I had a feeling in my stomach." She chirped.

"Yes, and an ability to predict the future." I laughed and threw my arms around her. How I had missed my crazy vampire sister.

"I have to go home, because Charlie is probably worried, but I will be back soon." I told her, and took Edward's hand again heading for the door.

I the staircase we ran into Emmett who laughed loudly and said, "Finally came out of that room huh? What were you doing in there, trying out Edward's new bed I'm guessing?"

Edward gave him a hard look, but I just laughed and said, "It's a very comfortable bed."

Emmett laughed even louder at that, and Edward and I started heading for the door again.

When we came out to my truck Edward sighed loudly. "You are still driving this piece of…" He started but I cut him off, "No knocking the truck. It's a great truck."

He rolled his eyes and got in at the passenger side without complaining anymore. I got into the driver seat and drove home in silence, not sure what Charlie would think of my boyfriend swap.

"Hello dad! I'm home." I shouted into the living room as we walked through the door. Edward had suggested that he meet me in my room, so I wouldn't have to deal with Charlie's reaction to him. I said no, since I figured he was going to have to find out eventually. Might as well get it over with.

Charlie ran for the hall at my greeting and when he saw Edward he stopped abruptly. His eyes scrutinized us, and when he saw that we were holding hands his eyes widened considerably.

"Hello…" He said surprised.

"Good evening, Chief Swan." Edward greeted him.

He frowned and didn't respond. Instead he looked to me and said, "What's the meaning of this?" He used a parental voice that made me feel younger than I was.

"Edward is back." I mumbled.

"I can see that." He almost yelled. "What about Jacob? Billy called before and asked if I knew where he was. I assumed he was somewhere with you, but I see that may not be the case." He spoke with authority in his voice. I was surprised that Jacob hadn't said anything to Billy, and it was also surprising he left the pack stranded like that.

"Jake and I broke up." I told Charlie. "And he was going away for a while. But he said he would come back for the wedding." I felt extremely guilty and it was clear in my words that I was the reason Jacob had left.

"Well that's too bad. I really liked Jacob, he was good for you." He looked at Edward as he said it. "Maybe Edward should go now, it's getting late." He added.

"Dad!" I complained even though I knew Edward would just sneak in through my window, I didn't like the way Charlie was treating him.

"He's right Bella, I should go. I will see you tomorrow." He kissed my cheek and disappeared out the door.

I headed for the stairs but Charlie stopped me grasping my arm. "Am I supposed to be okay with this?" He asked.

"Okay with what Charlie?" I said in a rebellious teenager kind of way.

"Don't Charlie me! You know with what, Edward? Honey he hurt you so bad the last time. Is it really wise to start dating him again?" He explained.

I could hear how worried he was and I could see his point of view so I just said, "Just trust me dad. Okay?"

He sighed and let go of my arm. "Okay. I trust you to make the right decisions for yourself."

"Thank you." I smiled and raced up the stairs. He just shook his head as if he wasn't sure he really should trust me and went back to the TV.

When I got into my room I found Edward lying on my bed, it was like a dream having him here after all this time. Each time I saw him he seemed more angel-like and perfect than the last. I went to lie down next to him and he just smiled at me.

He didn't say anything for a while he just kept looking at me with the same smile on his face. "What?" I asked.

"What wedding?" He smiled. I remembered mentioning the wedding when I talked to Charlie downstairs.

"Sam's and Emily's wedding." I answered casually but I felt there was something more behind Edward's casual smile.

"Oh. You won't be going to that." He then stated as if it was obvious.

"What do you mean? I'm the maid of honor, I'm going." I said through my teeth.

"I can't have you around werewolves." He explained calmly. "They're dangerous beings, and I won't let you hang around them anymore." He smiled friendly at me like it wasn't ridiculous of him to be telling me I couldn't see my friends anymore.

I stood up and crossed my arms. "I'm going to the wedding and I'm still going to hang out with my werewolf friends. You can't decide who I can and can't see." I half-yelled.

He sighed loudly and said. "I don't want to fight when I just got you back. Let's just discuss this later." He said it like I was an obstinate child asking for too many presents for Christmas.

"There's nothing discuss Edward!" I stated. "Like I said before at your house, you don't own me. I make my own decisions and you just have to live with that."

He seemed surprised at my determination and just shook his head and gestured for me to come back to bed.

"No, you have to understand this Edward, I'm going to that wedding and I'm going to see my friends in La Push. I think maybe you should go now so I can get some sleep." I said resolute on making him take me seriously on this, I couldn't let him keep me from seeing the pack.

His eyes widened, and he asked surprised. "Are you serious, do you really want me to go?"

"Yes please leave." I answered and pointed at the window.

He stood up slowly and walked towards me. "You want me to leave, because I was thinking maybe we could practice my self-control a bit more." He teased and at his last words he was so close I could feel his breath on my face. The scent was delicious and it made my head spin slightly. I leaned closer to him and just as our lips were about to touch I manage to pull away. He laughed at my attempt at self-control and I smiled but then my face turned serious.

"Leave please." I insisted trying not to throw myself at him when I saw his wonderful smile.

"Fine." He said and it seemed I had won the argument.

He moved in close and whispered in my ear. "We can practice tomorrow and every day after that."

His words sent shivers through me and I couldn't move as he went over to the window and jumped out into the chilly night. I went over to the window and it took all my self-control not to call him back as I saw his perfect figure run for the woods. There was no way of loving someone more than I loved Edward and I wanted to be with him every moment I could. But still, I knew I would have tomorrow and every day after that.

Everything was beautiful, the sun was shining, there were flowers everywhere and there was a genuine feeling of love in the air.

I breathed in the summer air as I stood, flowers in hand, waiting for the music that meant it was time. I looked over at Emily, she was beautiful in a knee-length white summer dress and she looked incredibly happy.

"Good luck." I smiled.

"You too. Try not to fall and ruin my wedding." She laughed.

"I will do my best." I smiled but not with complete confidence because I was actually worried my clumsiness would make itself known and I would trip or something of the similar. Also I was nervous about seeing Jacob for the first time since I'd broken his heart and he'd left.

Finally it was time, I gathered all my courage and stepped out from the big tent we had set up on the beach. As I walked down the small aisle, passing some of Emily's and Sam's closest friends and family who all looked up as I walked by, I didn't think about tripping or embarrassing myself because all I could think about was Jacob.

He was standing by Sam at the end of the aisle and he was wearing a black tuxedo but he still looked run down. He deliberately kept his eyes from me but I could see how sad he was and how difficult it was for him to see me. He kept himself together though, and I decided I would be strong too, even though my heart was breaking because I missed my best friend so much.

Just as I took my place Emily appeared at the end of the aisle, everyone got to their feet and a huge smile spread across Sam's face as he watched her float towards us.

She smiled back as she walked up to him and the air filled with the love they had for one another. They faced each other holding hands as the priest started the ceremony.

The ceremony part went by in a daze because I was thinking of what I would say to Jacob when I finally got a chance to talk to him.

Before I knew it we were at Emily's house for the reception, the place was packed with people sitting at the tables we'd set up in their living room. We'd cleared out all the furniture from the room, making sure everyone would get a place at a table but there was hardly any room to breathe. We all enjoyed Emily's cooking and there was constant chatter around the tables.

I was sitting at a table with Quil, Jared, and some other kids from La Push but my eyes kept searching for Jacob, I needed to talk to him and see that he was okay.

A girl came and sat at the table, she had short black hair and a displeased expression.

"Hello Leah." Quil said in a voice that indicated he didn't really want her here.

"Bite me." She answered just as impolite as he'd been.

"Bella." Jared said trying to lift the mood. "This is Leah. Leah this is Bella."

"Hello." I said in attempt at friendliness even though Leah didn't seem friendly at all.

All I got was a disconcerted nod and a snort in response.

"Be nice Leah." Quil soothed.

"Fine." She gave him a sarcastic smile and then said. "I hear you're the girl who broke Jake's heart to be with a vampire, it's nice to meet you." She said it through her teeth. I was taken aback and didn't know what to respond, she was rude but she was also right.

"Ehm.. Leah and her brother Seth are the newest additions to our pack." Jared told me trying to salvage the mood around the table.

A young kid maybe fifteen smiled at me and said. "I'm Seth." He seemed the opposite of his sister, friendly and open.

"Hi." I smiled at him.

"Don't mind Leah." Seth then said. "She's just grumpy, she always is."

"No kidding." Quil agreed.

"I'm not going to sit here and take this." Leah said. Then she stood up and walked away.

"You could have been a bit nicer to her guys. You know this is hard for her." Jared said.

"Hard for her?" I asked confused.

Jared sighed. "Did Jake ever tell you how Sam and Emily met?"

"Yeah. He told me Sam imprinted on Emily." I said not understanding how that could be related to Leah's bad mood.

"That's true." Jared said. "But at that time he was actually in a relationship with someone else." He looked at me as if the answer was now obvious. It took a while for me to connect the dots. "And Leah is that someone else." I said.

"Yes. It's been hard for her being in the pack sharing her thoughts with Sam since she never really got over him." He explained.

Sam had reclaimed his role as alpha with Jacob gone, and I couldn't even imagine how hard it must be for Leah to share her thoughts with an ex she still had feelings for. It must be impossible hearing him think about Emily, I felt bad for Leah now. This extremely hostile person who disliked me and wasn't afraid to show it, I felt sorry for her, for losing the love of her life and having him around all the time. I realized this must be how Jacob felt about me and Edward, at that point I was glad he could escape from it all.

I had been in La Push a lot the last week planning the wedding and maybe it was good for him to get away and not be around me and my stories of Edward and his family.

Surprisingly everyone in the pack was okay with me dating a vampire and I was still friends with them, they weren't happy I'd broke Jake's heart and chased him out of town but I was still friends with all of them.

It had taken Edward a while but finally he'd been okay with me going to La Push and after realizing he could trust them he no longer made a big deal about me coming here.

Between being in La Push planning the wedding, and trying to be with Edward as much as I could, I had barely been home the past week. Charlie wasn't happy about me spending time with Edward but he accepted it since I still hung out with all my friends in La push, well almost all my friends not my best friend.

Suddenly I realized something, Jared and Quil would have heard Jacob's thoughts since he'd been running around as a wolf the last week.

"How's Jacob?" I asked them urgently. "Is he okay?"

"We actually don't know." Quil admitted.

"What are you talking about?" I asked. "You can hear his thoughts right?"

"Not anymore." Jared said and when he saw my confounded expression he continued. "See when he left, he left the pack and kind of formed his own pack which means we can't hear him anymore." Then he added, "Bet Leah wish she had that option."

I didn't listen to that last part, instead I looked over to Jacob he was staring at his food and I thought of how lonely he must have been. He looked up at me and I raised my eyebrows and mouthed, "Are you okay?"

He just sighed and shook his head at me. I gestured for him to follow as I walked out onto the porch, he reluctantly followed.

When we were out in the fresh air I faced him and I was planning on questioning him on the last week but his expression threw me off and I just stood there speechless.

"What do you want?" He asked in an irritated voice.

"I'm sorry I made you feel this way." I whispered and I felt tears forming in my eyes.

"Dammit Bella. You can't do this anymore. I can't be there for you and be your friend anymore. It's too hard. I thought we already went through this." He yelled in a hushed voice so no one inside would hear.

"I'm sorry." I said again and I felt a tear rolling down my cheek.

His anger faded a bit and he put his arms around me, I hugged him back but it wasn't like before, he was distant. Although I never wanted to let go I knew I had to so I released him. "One day we won't hurt so much and we will be friends. The future you and me will laugh at the way we are acting now." I said with determination.

"I hope so." He said as he went back inside.

"I know so." I whispered to myself.


End file.
